Tabloid Cheat Sheet: Sandra’s Baby Death Threats? Eddie Cheating On LeAnn?

With a weekend full of weddings, you’d think that the tabloids would’ve been glorified wedding albums, but instead it was another week of cheating scandals and drama. Basically, marriages are failing left and right and it seems silly to bother at all if this is the inevitable outcome. Sure, it could be the stresses of Tinseltown that have ruined these relationships, but just be glad you’re not reading these things cover-to-cover every week and losing faith in humanity like me. Just kidding! Kinda. Get psyched for this week’s tragedy, comedy and new love, collected from the periodical equivalent of reality television.

  • Apparently, when Jennifer Aniston went on the “Tonight Show” recently, it was what would have been her 10th anniversary with Brad Pitt and she was feeling emotional. But she’s slowly stealing him back from Angelina Jolie. Supposedly, this plan includes getting her body hotter than ever, making late-night phone calls, sending gifts and having private meetings. A source says, “There’s a huge part of Jen that would love to do what Angelina Jolie did to her and steal Brad back. What woman wouldn’t?” The source revealed that the couple emails a few times a month. Brad has also allegedly offered Jen a role as investigative reporter Linda Trest in a project he’s developing, even though Angie had expressed interest in the part.
  • Just when it looked like “American Idol” would be ruined, Jennifer Lopez might be taking over as a judge. A source says, “She agreed to do it once she knew Ellen was leaving for sure.” Apparently, Lopez wanted to be the only female panelist and, if she takes the job, will move to Los Angeles. Meanwhile, Aerosmith’s Steven Tyler told his fans that he would “probably” be the third judge. It’s said that Randy Jackson will be the only judge to stay, but even he is not so sure. He said, “The only thing that’s for sure is Ryan [Seacrest].” But added, “If Jennifer Lopez is a judge, I would be very happy.”
  • Jenny Craig spokeswoman Sarah Rue lost 50 pounds in eight months on the plan and tells OK! how she did it. On top of the food provided by Jenny, Rue ate fruits and vegetables and worked out by walking at first and working up to running. The actress says that her attitude towards food has changed. “Being an emotional eater, you don’t just eat when you’re sad,” she said. “You eat when you’re happy, bored or when you feel anything. I didn’t know how to handle those emotions, so would eat. Instead, I’ve been learning to sit with feelings and move through them and be okay.” Rue is now planning her wedding to her fiance, Kevin Price, and instead of eloping to avoid the dress situation, Rue is going all-out now. [OK!]

  • By now, everyone knows that Ali Fedotowsky chose Roberto. As soon as the proposal aired on the West Coast, the newly engaged couple arrived at LA’s Capitol City club and were “kissing nonstop in the car.” The two are actually excited about planning their wedding, which is tentatively next summer. The two both love dancing, and Ali is excited that she might get a spot on “Dancing With the Stars.” She tells the tabloid, “I think that’d be awesome! Please put in a good word for me!” And of Ali’s landscaper runner-up Chris Lambton, one insider said, “The next ‘Bachelor’ is Chris, for sure.”
  • I’m not sure when “Teen Mom” stars became tabloid fodder, but I guess it was a really slow news day for Us Weekly, who reported that teen mom Amber Portwood lost 65 pounds and landed in the “Hot Hollywood” section to talk about it. Amber says, “I was looking in the mirror and I thought, I don’t like this. I’m only 20.” She admits, “It was a struggle.” I’m serious—this was one of the more interesting stories.
  • The Kardashians are still reeling from the August 1st episode, where Scott Disick got violent and punched a mirror after Kourtney confronted him about his partying. Khloe tweeted, “I get mad all over again. Tonight’s episode is so hard for me to watch.” Just a day before the episode aired, momma Kris Kardashian said she’d grown to like Disick, but an insider says, “Kris didn’t know how bad Scott was until she saw the episode. She was devastated.” Kourtney gave Scott an ultimatum and while he’s been playing nice, an insider says, “Off camera, he’s just as much of a d-bag.” At a recent event, Scott unbuttoned his shirt to his navel and went AWOL after drinking what appeared to be a Pimm’s cocktail. Ruh roh. [Us Weekly]

  • As if she hasn’t had a hard enough year, Sandra Bullock is now receiving death threats directed at her son Louis. The FBI is investigating a kidnapping plot and murder-for-hire scheme. Apparently, fanatical racists believe that the adoption was “insincere.” An insider says, “One of the groups being looked at is the New Black Panther Party, which may have initiated some of the hate mail.” Apparently, their anger stems from the fact that Louis came from Louisiana where there are potential black adoptive parents. Sandra has as many as 15 bodyguards protecting her home and also asked Jesse James to come back into her life to protect Louis. In addition, Sandra’s long-time stalker Thomas Weldon is also a threat and she recently renewed her restraining order against him. There was also an FBI tip about a murder plot allegedly arranged by Michelle “Bombshell” McGee, after her ex-husband received a phone call that she’d put a hit on him and Sandra Bullock before the cheating scandal even came out.
  • Roy Horn, half of Siegfried & Roy, has been accused of sexually harassing and groping a male employee, who is a married man and a father. One of the exchanges was caught on video camera, showing Roy trying to push the employees head down and grabbing his crotch. The ex-employee said, “He ordered me to touch his genitals and groped me repeatedly, both inside and outside my pants. He also threatened to fire me if I didn’t comply with his demands. In the end, I quit because of the harassment.” The assistant was one of several men hired to care for the disabled magician, who was attacked by one of his own white tigers. Several other assistants have resigned over sexual harassment. The former employee said, “Roy may be handicapped, but his right arm is very strong … I never thought that I could be the victim of sexual harassment. I never imagined that my boss, another man, could be in such a position of power, both financially and psychologically.”
  • This Andrew Morton, Angelina: An Unauthorized Biography tell-all is apparently threatening to tear apart Angie’s relationship with Brad. According to a source, Brad yelled, “Who are you? I don’t know you anymore! Our life together has been nothing but lies!” Which seems super unlikely, but apparently the book threatens to unleash a Pandora’s box of secrets about her drug and sex-fueled past. The book includes chapters about her sex life with Billy Bob Thornton, as well as an interview with her old drug dealer who saw her get introduced to heroin in 1997. The source says, “The revelations in the book have been like a knife to Brad’s heart, and could mean the end for a once beautiful romance.” [National Enquirer]

  • People covered Chelsea Clinton’s wedding with quotes from guests, a panel with the “Wedding dream team,” and a half-page spread about the making of the wedding cake and pictures of Chelsea with her dad, Bill Clinton, taken over the past two decades. The couple had 12 bridesmaids and groomsmen and Chelsea accidentally dropped Marc’s ring during the ceremony. A guest says that Bill and Hilary both made heart-warming speeches and “both made it clear that while they’ve led interesting lives, the most important thing they’ve done is raise Chelsea.” Awww.
  • Ali Fedotowsky and Roberto Martinez posed for People. Ali’s Converse have “I <3 Roberto" scrawled on their side. Ali says she's watched the finale "eight times in 24 hours ... I cry every single time." Ali didn't make Chris Lambton follow through with the final ceremony because, "When a man proposes to a woman, it should be a once-in-a-lifetime thing." Ali and Roberto say their families are thrilled. "I think my dad might have asked Roberto to marry him! Biggest man crush!” Ali gushes. The couple plans on broadcasting their wedding to help pay for a downpayment on their house. Ali said that after they left Bora-Bora, they started texting non-stop. “There’s never been a moment that we ever questioned it,” she said. Roberto says, “For me, it was about ‘Do I want to spend the rest of my life with this woman?’ I thought about it a lot, and everything pointed to yes. That’s how I feel now; that’s how I’ll feel forever.”

  • LeAnn Rimes and Eddie Cibrian destroyed their marriages when they began their affair, but now it’s come out that Eddie’s been cheating on LeAnn … with his ex-wife! Apparently, Eddie and Brandi met up for “all-night sex sessions” and he’s been begging her to take him back. Eddie was also allegedly sleeping with a bartender. And apparently, when Eddie started working with LeAnn, he tried to cover up the affair by talking about how ugly she was, and a source shares, “He said she had huge nostrils and he could see all the way up to her brain! Eddie sent Brandi multiple texts, jokingly writing, ‘Brain.'” Now, Brandi has moved on to a real estate developer and is no longer entertaining Eddie’s advances.
  • Heidi Montag has filed for a divorce from Spencer Pratt! They haven’t been seen together since separating in May, but an insider says they’ve been meeting up. “Spencer was going to Heidi’s rental in Malibu frequently and talking to her about working things out.” Heidi figured out that Spencer was using her for her bankability after he spent their money freely and told her she would have to pose for Playboy again to afford their lifestyle. Now Spencer is tweeting about how their marriage was a scam, saying, “I thought that preacher at the wedding was one of the actors like my paid friends and family … I thought we did it for ratings?” Ugh.
  • And because Ali Fedotowsky isn’t allowed to be perfectly happy, Star found pictures of her partying hard in high school and smoking weed out of a bong. They also managed to get pages from her diary which say things like “I don’t know what I’m going to do. I have my pill and beer so I better pick soon.” Sounds like the “Bachelorette” finale! Most of the article is detailing a night in the diary where Ali took ecstasy and thought she was going to die and wrote to her boyfriend at the time, Jim, who was away on vacation. A “pal” says, “Even when she was dating Jim, she was obsessed with getting on TV. Her whole girl-next-door schtick was just a way to get into the spotlight. But now people will know the truth about her.” [Star]