Dear Wendy Updates: Shallow Sally Responds

It’s time again for “Dear Wendy Updates,” a feature where people I’ve given advice to in the past let us know whether they followed the advice and how they’re doing today. After the jump, we hear from Shallow Sally, a woman who worried her boyfriend wouldn’t be getting her anything for Christmas because he promised her a cruise for the Christmas before but broke up with her before ponying up. They got back together a few weeks later and she wanted to know how she could make sure she “didn’t get screwed again.” She even saved the receipts for the “two nice gifts” she got him in case he “pulled the same crap” he did the year before. I, and quite a few of the commenters, had some choice words for her, and now she’s ready to give us a piece of her mind. After the jump, read her update and find out if she’s still with her guy.

I wrote to you last December, worried that my boyfriend wouldn’t bother to get me anything for Christmas. You, and many of the commenters, were harsh and unhelpful in my situation. I really feel like you set me up for failure by titling the article “My Boyfriend Better Give Me Good Christmas Gifts, Or Else!” By doing that, you immediately set me up to be the bad guy. What I realized was that I hadn’t given you enough information. As some of the commenters surmised, my boyfriend had gotten me NOTHING that Christmas. I had put so much thought and effort into buying him nice gifts that he’d like and I was disappointed that no thought was put into me. He decided on the cruise himself — not because I had “whined” about not getting anything.

Fortunately, some of the commenters could see my point of view and did have some helpful words. I thank them for that. But most of them were so hateful, calling me names and saying terrible things about me, that I was totally turned off to the Frisky for quite awhile. For your information, the breakup after Christmas was mutual. It was not because he was “disgusted with me for my materialism.” I’m sure your readers will still think I’m some horrible person but that’s OK. They can be as self-righteous as they want to, but everyone likes to receive gifts at Christmas, on their birthdays, and at other gift-giving times. I’m betting they don’t turn down nice gifts because they’re just soooo altruistic.

That boyfriend and I are no longer together but it’s because I finally realized that he was an abusive, manipulative and passive-aggressive person. His lack of gift-giving turned out to be a weird way of trying to control me. I’m moving on and I hope that I can find someone who is as thoughtful and caring as I am. Thanks for nothing. – Single and Happy Sally

Well then.

If you’re someone I’ve given advice to in the past, I’d love to hear from you, too. Email me at {encode=”[email protected]” title=”[email protected]”} with a link to the original post, and let me know whether you followed the advice and how you’re doing now.

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