Are You Snooty (Or Weird) Enough To Make The New York Times Wedding Announcements?

To some peeps, showing up in The New York Times’ prestigious wedding announcements is the be-all and end-all. How else will anybody who’s anybody know you’re to wed a fancy-pants Harvard Ph.D. who’s a direct descendant of Muffy von Buffington, IV? (Or, you know, a Frisky blogger like our girl Wendy.)

It’s hard to say whether, a new search engine which exclusively searches the most recent 3,910 NYT wedding announcements for key phrases, is enabling this show-off behavior or mocking it.

Who really cares how many times Harvard popped up (465) or Goldman Sachs (65)? Some of us aren’t so fancy (or smart … or rich). After the jump, let’s find out if among these well-educated captains of industry, there’s anyone a little bit strange like us.Words that don’t make it into the New York Times wedding announcements at all:

  • expelled from school
  • breast implants
  • dungeon
  • erotica
  • “Gossip Girl”
  • vaginal rejuvenation
  • spanking
  • Elvis impersonator
  • prostitute or call girl
  • witch or witchcraft
  • Scooby Doo
  • sex blogger
  • gangster
  • plus-size model
  • French maid

But what might be even more surprising is what actually does show up:

  • Pornography: once

    “[The bride] used $120,000 of her own money to start a company called Erotigo, to bring pornography to hand-held computers.”

  • Clown College: once

    “So how did Ms. Schwab … end up marrying a graduate of the Ringling Brothers and Barnum & Bailey Clown College who sometimes performs as a giant bumblebee?”

  • Trekkie: once

    “But goofy was an attribute willingly embraced by Mr. Mantz, a marathon runner and a Trekkie. ‘I get excited if I’m at a gift shop and see a postcard with Captain Kirk,’ he said. ‘I don’t need to be with someone who loves ‘Star Trek,’ just someone who allows me to love it.”

  • Drunk: 5 times

    “I reacted in a mature way,” said Mr. Wright. … “I got blindingly drunk and had a fling with one of her dear friends.”

  • Feminist: 5 times

    “Aghast feminists thought the book set women back 50 years; others praised it for empowering women.”

    “Ms. Miller, a self-described feminist theologian, was not looking for a husband.”

  • Pirate: 7 times

    “Among other things, Ms. Lammers learned how to walk with a peg-leg contraption that fit under her gown. … Her stride was nearly flawless and there was no thumping sound, like peg-legged pirates in the movies.”

  • The Grim Reaper: once

    “The costumed guests, which included a Morticia Addams, the Grim Reaper, Marge Simpson and Ms. Janis as the ghost of Anne Boleyn, were treated to a variety show that included puppetry, burlesque and magic.”

Hey, maybe there is some hope for us shrews.