• Relationships

Are You Snooty (Or Weird) Enough To Make The New York Times Wedding Announcements?

To some peeps, showing up in The New York Times‘ prestigious wedding announcements is the be-all and end-all. How else will anybody who’s anybody know you’re to wed a fancy-pants Harvard Ph.D. who’s a direct descendant of Muffy von Buffington, IV? (Or, you know, a Frisky blogger like our girl Wendy.)

It’s hard to say whether WeddingCredential.com, a new search engine which exclusively searches the most recent 3,910 NYT wedding announcements for key phrases, is enabling this show-off behavior or mocking it.

Who really cares how many times Harvard popped up (465) or Goldman Sachs (65)? Some of us aren’t so fancy (or smart … or rich). After the jump, let’s find out if among these well-educated captains of industry, there’s anyone a little bit strange like us.Words that don’t make it into the New York Times wedding announcements at all:

  • expelled from school
  • breast implants
  • dungeon
  • erotica
  • “Gossip Girl”
  • vaginal rejuvenation
  • spanking
  • Elvis impersonator
  • prostitute or call girl
  • witch or witchcraft
  • Scooby Doo
  • sex blogger
  • gangster
  • plus-size model
  • French maid

But what might be even more surprising is what actually does show up:

  • Pornography: once

    “[The bride] used $120,000 of her own money to start a company called Erotigo, to bring pornography to hand-held computers.”

  • Clown College: once

    “So how did Ms. Schwab … end up marrying a graduate of the Ringling Brothers and Barnum & Bailey Clown College who sometimes performs as a giant bumblebee?”

  • Trekkie: once

    “But goofy was an attribute willingly embraced by Mr. Mantz, a marathon runner and a Trekkie. ‘I get excited if I’m at a gift shop and see a postcard with Captain Kirk,’ he said. ‘I don’t need to be with someone who loves ‘Star Trek,’ just someone who allows me to love it.”

  • Drunk: 5 times

    “I reacted in a mature way,” said Mr. Wright. … “I got blindingly drunk and had a fling with one of her dear friends.”

  • Feminist: 5 times

    “Aghast feminists thought the book set women back 50 years; others praised it for empowering women.”

    “Ms. Miller, a self-described feminist theologian, was not looking for a husband.”

  • Pirate: 7 times

    “Among other things, Ms. Lammers learned how to walk with a peg-leg contraption that fit under her gown. … Her stride was nearly flawless and there was no thumping sound, like peg-legged pirates in the movies.”

  • The Grim Reaper: once

    “The costumed guests, which included a Morticia Addams, the Grim Reaper, Marge Simpson and Ms. Janis as the ghost of Anne Boleyn, were treated to a variety show that included puppetry, burlesque and magic.”

Hey, maybe there is some hope for us shrews.

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