It may not have come from a masseuse, but Former Vice President Al Gore still got a “happy ending.” On Friday, an Oregon DA’s office cleared him of sexual abuse charges due to “lack of credible evidence.” In June, massage therapist Molly Hagerty claimed that Gore was “a crazed sex poodle” who made “unwanted sexual contact” with her in an upscale Portland hotel room in 2006. At the time, both the vice president and his ex-wife, Tipper Gore, called the charges hogwash. But Portland police have followed through with their investigation and said Friday that a “sustainable criminal case does not exist.” Apparently, Hagerty failed a lie detector test and forensic testing also did not turn up any evidence.
Whew. We’re relieved our Nobel Prize-winning almost-43rd president is still a stand-up guy. [People]