It’s “American Idol”-geddon!

Today, July 30, will forever be known as D-Day in “American Idol” land. I’m reeling, trying to make sense of what the heck happened in the last 24 hours that has very likely demolished my favorite guilty pleasure competition show. Can things ever be the same again? I fear not. After the jump, the demise of “Idol” as we know it, play by bloody play.

  • Ellen jumps ship. Yesterday evening, I caught wind that the latest “Idol” judge, Ellen DeGeneres, wasn’t feeling it. “A couple months ago, I let Fox and the ‘American Idol’ producers know that this didn’t feel like the right fit for me,” because she “loved discovering, supporting and nurturing young talent, it was hard for [her] to judge people and sometimes hurt their feelings.” Is this really about feelings?
  • Kara gets the axe. Next, we hear that judge Kara DioGuardi was told to walk the plank. Eighty-sixed, given her pink slip. Why? Because FOX wants to return to the three-panel format … without her. Ouch. Talk about hurt feelings … and lack of a long-term contract.
  • Randy holds down the fort. For now it appears that Randy Jackson is keeping vigil over what once was “American Idol.” As far as I know, he still has his job. But we know all that can change in the blink of an eye. I suppose the task before him is to ward off the influx of celebrity vultures trying to swoop in and take the places of Simon and Kara. The rumored list (some more credible than others, none of which are 100 percent confirmed yet) of contenders is as follows: Jennifer Lopez, Steven Tyler, Elton John, Justin Timberlake, P-Diddy, Jessica Simpson, Bret Michael, Shania Twain, Chris Isaak, Harry Connick, Jr., Howard Stern, and Perez Hilton. Basically, anyone who has ever had any affiliation with the music biz, or not. [Newser, People]

Holy hell, it’s about to get dangerous. When and how will it end?