“Real Housewife” Teresa Giudice’s Life Is Up For Auction

While it usually takes a healthy dose of schadenfreude (pleasure derived from the pain of others) to get through my day, there’s something super depressing about the fact that Teresa Giudice of the “The Real Housewives of New Jersey” has had to put her worldly possessions up for auction. Sure, she and her husband did it to themselves by accumulating nearly $9 million in debt. But it’s still kind of heart-breaking when even their wedding bands have been taken from them. Their attorney says that Teresa isn’t pleased that her life has been put on display for the public, which is weird since she seems pretty happy about being on reality television. But if you’re hankering for some “Real Housewives” historical memorabilia, we’ve found a couple things on the auction block that might pique your interest. So start preparing for the August 22nd auction. [People]

  • Suit of Armor. You might have been wondering what kind of person gets themselves $8.7 million in debt—apparently it’s the same kind of person who buys a gold suit of armor to display at the end of their hallway. But I think this might be a fun thing to have, not to display in a gaudy mansion, but to roll down hills in and wear while skiing maybe. It’s like a helmet for your entire body!
  • Sea-Doo Bombardier X20 Jet Boat. In general, I think it’s silly to buy a boat that you can’t live on or travel around the world in, but then I saw that episode of “Jersey Shore” where all the guidos and guidettes stand around in Ed Hardy hats, bobbing their heads to techno, and I realized there’s a whole world of boating that I will never understand. I imagine that it was on this Sea-Doo that Teresa and Giuseppe Giudice first fell in love. You can’t put a price on history like that.
  • Leopard-Print Loveseat. After looking at my own personal decorating nightmare, I was sure there would be nothing salvageable. Sure, everyone wants a Mahogany bar set and six chests of various materials and sizes. And you can never have enough pillows. But I’m slightly less repulsed by this leopard-print love seat and upholstered arm chairs. They’d be really cute in a ’60s pinup-style apartment.
  • Two Go-Carts. I’m not really sure why they needed a jet boat, two snow plows, a mini forklift thing, an ATV and two go-carts, but I’m sure they all had their place in the Guidices’ all-terrain racing course … that they probably have. But just think of all the adventures you and your best friend could have on go-carts! You could travel around the country, wreaking havoc! You could race each other to the Grand Canyon and Thelma and Louise yourselves! The possibilities are endless!