Sick of the (occasionally funny) drivel that John Mayer and Amanda Bynes post on their Twitter accounts? Well, Angelina Jolie is here to save the day. She has officially joined Twitter and reserved the handle @AngelinaJolie. She hasn’t started using it yet—this was more of a defensive move to make sure no one else could use it, ahem, Jennifer Aniston—but who knows, maybe someday soon we’ll see 140-character posts from Her Saltiness.
Just in case, we’re giving Angelina some Twitter rules that we’d like her to follow.
- One Tweet a day about our favorite of the Jolie-Pitt clan, tomboy Shiloh, would be great.
- But be careful tweeting about the kids in general. Funny things they do are appreciated. Notes about their poop, doctor’s visits, and accomplishments in nursery school: skip, please.
- Use TwitPic. Often. Specifically for nude shots of Brad.
- Please, please, please don’t use your Twitter power to shill for products. You are above the Kardashians.
- Turn on your geo-tagging, so we know where you are and can speculate about what country you’ll be adopting from next.
- No emoticons, please. They’re just not you.
- While you’re at it, grammar and spelling do count. Don’t be like Deena Nicole!
- Skip the new tattoo Tweets, please.
- Wonder why Britney Spears’ account is wack? Cause she’s not always in the driver’s seat and lets her staff Tweet for her. You are too smart for this. Write it yourself.
- Retweet everything @TheFrisky says.