Dear Wendy: Mega Shortcuts Weekend, Vol. II
This weekend is an all “Shortcuts” weekend for Dear Wendy. For every question, I’ll give my advice in two sentences or less, because sometimes the answer to a person’s question is so obvious and the need to hear it so great, being as clear and frank as possible is simply the best way to go. Today we discuss pet peeves, bad one-night stands, lying boyfriends, and sacrificing emotional health for a kitchen appliance.
I have been dating my boyfriend for nine months, and even though it hasn’t been that long I love him and we’ve begun discussing a future together. There’s only one small problem with my Mr. Right — he has an annoying habit of chewing loudly and with his mouth open. Truth be told, this is probably my number one pet peeve, and it drives me nuts! I noticed it in the beginning of our relationship, but I was uncomfortable saying anything at that point. I thought I might get used to it, but sadly, it bothers me more than ever. I’ve come to the conclusion that he really has no idea that he does it and I’ve tried to drop hints, but he doesn’t seem to get it. I need to stop beating around the bush and admit to him that it bothers me so much, but he’s sensitive and the last thing I want to do is start any unnecessary drama between the two of us. How can I tell him without hurting his feelings? — Chew Toy
You can’t pussyfoot around this; you have to just tell him and trust that if he’s the kind of guy who would get upset over you asking him to kindly close his mouth when he eats, he’s not the right guy for you.
I had a one night while I was in Italy. I had a great time with him and we exchanged phone numbers before we left (he has my email address, too, but I don’t have his.). The sex wasn’t that great; in fact, he seemed to [be] very selfish. But still, I wonder!!??!!! I am curious and want to know more about him, so should I call him? — Italian Lover
My boyfriend recently lied to me when he told me he went on holiday alone to see his family, while, in fact, he went with his ex of 10 years. I’m pissed off at my boyfriend for lying to me, but I’ve since cooled off and would like to talk to him about it. Should I still wait for him to be in contact first? Or, can I just go ahead and call him to suggest we talk. I also know I forgive way too easily. Thoughts? — Pissed
What is there to talk about? Not only does your boyfriend clearly value the company of his ex more than you, he doesn’t even have the decency to be honest about it and quit stringing you along.
My boyfriend and I have been together for almost two years and he’s hands down the love of my life. He recently lost his job and had to take a role with a lower salary than he’s used to. In the mean time, I, too, went from a higher paying sales role to administrative support and have taken a decent pay cut. We talked about my situation at length before deciding it was a good transition (due to stress and health reasons). My boyfriend, friends and family have all noticed the change in my personality – for the better – since leaving the sales role. I’m more myself again: carefree and easy-going. I’ve kissed my Ativan prescription goodbye and I’m not canceling plans because of work. It’s all going really well — or so I thought. The other day, after not being able to upgrade a kitchen appliance (a range) due to money, my boyfriend mentioned it was a mistake for me to walk away from my sales role and the money that comes with it. My dilemma is this: Ask my boss for my sales job back where I make more money and deal with the immense stress of the role, or stay in my support role which I really like but ultimately make less $$ thus causing stress to our relationship? — Work for Love
Your emotional well-being is far more important than a new kitchen appliance and if your boyfriend disagrees or can’t figure how to make some side cash on his own for his new little toy, I’d kick him to the curb faster than you could say “jerk face.”
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