Dear Wendy: Mega Shortcuts Weekend, Vol. I
This weekend is an all “Shortcuts” weekend for Dear Wendy. For every question, I’ll give my advice in two sentences or less, because sometimes the answer to a person’s question is so obvious and the need to hear it so great, being as clear and frank as possible is simply the best way to go. Today we discuss summer flings, internet relationships vs. IRL relationships, crushes on customers, and being jealous of a partner’s success.
I’m just about to return home from a job as an out-of-state camp counselor where I developed feelings [for] one of my coworkers. I never said anything because I didn’t want to make things awkward. During the school year, we don’t live that far apart (a few hours drive) and I may even see him another time or two before the summer ends (he’s in my hometown now, and I’ll be in his in a few weeks). Is it worth it to try to pursue something with this guy, since I really don’t meet guys I get along with so well that often, or should I write it off as a summer flirtation? — Camp Counselor
Sure, go for it. Even if things don’t work out in the long run, you can always shoot to upgrade your “summer flirtation” to a true “summer fling” — especially since fall is still a long way off!
I’ve been dating a guy I met online for about a year and seven months now. We are very much in love, but sometimes I wonder if I’m wasting my time being with him. He lives in Georgia and I live in Illinois and we still haven’t been able to visit each other. I’m a very broke college student and he’s in and out of a job and always has problems in his life that prevent him from saving up to see me. We are very open with each other so I know nothing fishy is going on, like him cheating. I love him very much but sometimes I feel very unfulfilled with being long-distant AND never being able to see him. I’m willing to move closer to him, but only after I’m done with at least my undergrad work. He’s also willing to move but once again money is a huge problem! Should I move on and find someone on campus (like my friends and family tell me I should) or should I stick it out until one of us is able to find the money to visit the other? —Confused in Love
No-brainer here, CIL, break it off with the flake in Georgia you’ve never even met and find someone closer to you whom you can have a relationship with in real life.
I work as a cashier, and I have a crush on a regular customer. I’m quite certain he feels the same way, but I’m very shy and not really good at flirting and I worry sometimes he doesn’t get the clear message that I would say yes if he asked me out. Plus, I don’t think my boss would appreciate me openly flirting with or asking out customers. I know there could be lots of reasons he hasn’t asked me, but I know he’s single and I think he’s interested, so is there something I could do to make it more obvious that I would want to go out with him? Or should I just leave it as a work crush and forget about it? — Customer Crush
The next time he goes through your check-out line at work, write your number on his receipt and when you hand it to him, smile and say: “I wrote my number at the bottom in case you ever have any questions. I take my customer service responsibilities very seriously, don’t you know.”
My boyfriend and I are both in law school, where grades are very subjective. For our first summer session, I got a B+ and my boyfriend got an A. Over the session, I studied harder than I ever have in law school — I made notecards, I always read and prepared for class, and I totally crammed in the few days leading up to the final. Meanwhile, all he did was cram a few hours the night before the test. We had different classes, which were formatted differently, so the subjectiveness of the grading as well as he fact that we had different professors/classes/tests explains away the differences in grades. I’m okay with my grade and I’m also okay with the fact that he got an A; that isn’t the issue. My question really is: Aren’t I entitled to feel annoyed/upset/frustrated about the fact that I worked super hard, and he didn’t, and he did better? We are currently not speaking because he got mad that I said anything to that effect. I was not trying to downplay his good grade … of course I am happy he did well. But at the same time, he didn’t deserve the grade he got, and I feel cheated. Am I so wrong for feeling this way? — Hard Worker
You can’t help the way you feel about something, but you most certainly can help the way it affects your behavior and the way you treat people. Saying anything about your boyfriend being undeserving of a better grade than you was immature and thoughtless and you owe him a big apology.
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