New Upsetting Trend: Pets With Twitter Accounts

Twitter user Medlar wants to share his thoughts with the world. Yesterday he Tweeted, “I don’t think big turtles ever sleep.” Okay. I guess I’ll take his word for it considering he is um, a turtle, and a common, snapping one with impaired vision at that. His @turtlefeed has 368 followers. That’s like hundreds more than I have! He’s a pet turtle fahchrissakes and he’s somehow managed to gain fame on the interwebs. That’s not fair to us humans who do have very important and funny things to say. Shockingly, Medlar’s not the only pet taking over the Twitterverse. Pua the Tamandua (43 followers), Basil the Parrot (365 followers), Karma the Ferret (478 followers), Stains the Cupcake Dog (968 followers), Jazzy the Weiner Dog (1,272 followers), Ralph the Hamster (1,944 followers), Caplin Rous the Capybara (3,331 followers and WTF is a Capybara?), and Fluffy the Cat (14,969 followers) are also paws and feathers more popular than me. Are we serious, people? How has this happened? This is embarrassing. From now on I am @AmiTheAardvark. Shhhh, don’t tell anyone I’m human. [BuzzFeed]