Maintain Your Post-Poo Dignity With The Comfort Wipe

So, I guess I’m one of the lucky ones who, at least for the time being, can still reach around and wipe my own butt. But this is not the case for some people, who can’t properly cleanse themselves after a nice BM without the aid of another person. That is, until the Comfort Wipe arrived! This handy “sanitary toilet paper arm and holder” makes it so you can wipe your own butt and deposit the soiled tissues into the toilet without getting your hand anywhere near your behind. And it’s not just for the overweight or physically impaired — it’s also for weirdos who don’t want their hands anywhere near dirty toilet paper. As the super posh old lady in the ad says, in her delighted voice, the Comfort Wipe “allows you to maintain your dignity.” Ahem.