13 Good Lessons We’ve Learned From Bad Exes

Most of us have an awful ex (or maybe a few) that we’d never be friends with. In fact, we may even wish we’d never crossed paths with them … except for that invaluable lesson we took away from the relationship. I finally figured out that alcoholics make bad boyfriends. Duh. It’s so simple you’d think it wouldn’t have taken me two, OK, three times to get it. Learning tough life lessons from a bad relationship brings meaning to our suffering. Well … kind of. After the jump, good wisdom that Frisky staffers have learned from bad exes. Share your lessons in the comments.

“That thing that looks like a hickey on his neck is, in fact, a hickey.”

“If he won’t use a condom, dump him. At least at first, condom use is non-negotiable until you’ve established a monogamous relationship.”

“If he criticizes your clothes, run like hell. If he’s already trying to chip away at your self-esteem by controlling your wardrobe, imagine what a freak he’ll be when he gets tired of telling you that ‘you have too many prints.'”

“He’s not going to leave his girlfriend for you.”

“If you’re in a relationship, you’re both healthy and you don’t even have kids, something’s wrong if you haven’t had sex in more than two weeks.”

“If he disrespects his mother for no good reason, then he probably doesn’t know how to respect any woman.”

“If he comes on incredibly strong right from jump, there’s probably something wrong with him. Or he has a wife at home.”

“If he says he really thinks you’ll get along with his new female assistant at work, be very suspicious of her — and him.”

“If he ever says, ‘This is the way I am. I’m not ever going to change,’ don’t try and change him, but don’t stick around with him either because ‘I told you this was how I am’ will be his excuse to treat you like crap going forward.”

“If he ‘accidentally falls asleep on the couch’ almost every night for a week, he is probably about to dump you.”

“Don’t get involved with a drug addict. If he is an addict, chances are the drug is going to come before you. In the end you can’t change or fix a person who is addicted. The only one who can change him is himself — helping is a waste of time. Get out before he brings you down with him.” 

“If you’re being compared to his ex — unless you’re cool with being a rebound — get out.”

“It is never, under any circumstances, OK for him to hit you. Yes, even if you were acting like a jerk. Leave right away because he will do it again. And again. And again.”