Dear Wendy Updates: “Needs New Friends” Responds

It’s time again for “Dear Wendy Updates,” a feature where people I’ve given advice to in the past let us know whether they followed the advice and how they’re doing today. After the jump, we hear from “Needs New Friends,” who had lost friends in her breakup and didn’t know how to make new ones or transition well into her new single life. After the jump, find how how she’s doing now six months later.

I wrote to you about six months ago, when I had just gotten out of a three year relationship and was feeling very lonely and depressed because I lost a lot of friends in the breakup. I was even tempted to go back to him because that was the only way I could see feeling comfortable and fulfilled at the time. Well, turns out to move on, what I really had to do was the opposite of what made me feel comfortable — really put myself out there. I started calling my casual acquaintances, that I never normally would’ve contacted, and asking them what they were doing that weekend and if I could come along. It felt a little weird at first because I felt like I was forcing myself on people, but after a little while of being a tag-along, these acquaintances turned into totally true friends, and soon I was integrated into a new social group (guys included). Now the girl that I felt weird about calling is one of my best friends! But I also got a really important piece of advice in the comments — to just be patient. At the time I felt like everything in my life needed to make a complete turnaround into Awesome Life 3000 immediately for me to be okay. It’s hard to see the big picture when you’re going through a breakup, but I probably didn’t need to worry so much that I would never make new friends when I know I’m a caring, likable person. Putting in work to make my situation better while keeping in mind that it would take a little while (and that’s okay) was awesome advice! And, just for the record, now I LOVE being single and wouldn’t go back to my ex for anything in the world. — Now Has New Friends

What a great update! NHNF, you really were able to perfectly describe what’s usually very hard to convince people of from the outside: there is life after a breakup. You have to be patient, be willing to be a little uncomfortable or sad for the short-term, put yourself out there and make an effort to move on and create your own happiness. Glad to hear you’re doing so well!

If you’re someone I’ve given advice to in the past, I’d love to hear from you, too. Email me at {encode=”[email protected]” title=”[email protected]”} with a link to the original post, and let me know whether you followed the advice and how you’re doing now.

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