10 Women Weigh In On Casual Sex With An Ex

We’re back to that very interesting debate when it comes to our exes: Is it OK to have casual sex with an ex or is it better to not go there? After the jump, 10 women share their thoughts about ex-ing and sex-ing. What do you think about casual ex sex? Share your thoughts in the comments.

“I suppose it would be OK to have casual sex with your ex, but it’s a touchy situation. Both parties have to be consensual, that it’s just casual and will not lead to anything else. The party that got dumped might believe there’s a chance of getting back together if they continue to have sex. It’s not good for the other party to take advantage of this just to continue to have sex, with no strings attached.” – Anna, Athens, OH

“I wouldn’t consider it at all. I’d be afraid if I engaged in sex with my ex, he might want something I was unwilling to give (commitment) or maybe I would expect something more from him. I’m too old to engage in casual sex with anybody, especially my ex. I want meaning in my life and casual sex is the antithesis of meaning, as far as I’m concerned.” - Theresa, Urbana, IL

“There are so many reasons why ‘casual’ sex with your ex is a disaster waiting to happen. First, there is nothing casual about it. You had a relationship. All of those emotional connections from that relationship are going to come right back when you’re naked in each others arms again. It sends mixed signals and can be damaging to your self esteem. There’s a reason your ex is an ex: let it be. – Lisa, Austin, TX

“If you aren’t married and such –yes. I still see my ex–he’s one of my best friends, and on occasion we do have sex. I feel comfortable with him. I can be myself and relax.” — Sam, Plainview, NY

“Well, I suppose, if you’re both single and lonely, there’s no harm in having casual sex. I don’t have any exes I’d even think about going there with. But for those who do, I say go for it if it makes you happy and there’s no one who’d be hurt if they found out.” — Lyn, Houston, TX

“Certainly not. I feel sex should be shared with someone you have a close bond with and when the love is shared by both partners. If he’s an ex, there’s probably a good reason for that, and if he’s interested in casual sex, it’s just that. In other words, he’s just using you and only interested in rekindling flames between the sheets.” – Amy, Bryson City, NC

“Personally, I think having casual sex with an ex depends on the current relationship between the two people involved. If two people decide to end a relationship under mutual understanding, then I do not see anything wrong with two, mature adults consenting to having sex provided both agree and understand the term ‘casual’. To me, sex is a basic human need and if there is an opportunity to have it with someone your comfortable with and you know is ‘safe’ then it really beats finding a stranger to hook up with. However, if a relationship ended in disaster or was not mutual or the parties involved cannot emotionally handle being with someone that they may not fully be over then absolutely not. Although women tend to be more invested emotionally than men, there are men who are just as emotional when it comes to love, relationships and break ups. I do think that finding two people who can pull it off would be hard!” – Leese, Collingdale, PA

“Maybe it would be fine for some people to continue to sleep with their ex — but it did not work out well for me and my ex. We continued to have casual sex for about two months after we broke up. It delayed bringing closure to that broken relationship. It also kept me in the line of fire for emotional wounds. We were not communicating at the time and the sex was disconnected from the heart. I remember wanting him to leave my bedroom as soon as we were finished. I didn’t want to be held or caressed and I definitely didn’t want to open my heart up to him for more rejection. When you feel your ex doesn’t care about you, except for the sex, it is a demeaning feeling.” – Magena, Roanoke, VA

“Call me old-fashioned, but I just think it’s a horrible idea. Having sex with an ex may seem harmless enough, especially if the sex was earth shattering when you were together, but I don’t think it’s ever a good idea. As much as you may want to convince yourself that emotions won’t get in the way, it’s bound to happen and you could end up with a broken heart all over again.”– Jenny, Nashport, OH

“Having casual sex with my ex is something that I would not consider nor encourage others to do with their exes. I think that once a relationship has fallen apart, then it’s time to heal and move on. Keeping the relationship together through casual sex or any other means such as being together for social events or the family will do more harm than good for both parties. In life, if something isn’t right we usually correct it and move forward. If you can’t correct the relationship with your ex, then I believe it’s time to sever all contact. I believe that by moving forward, both parties will heal, learn something from the relationship, and hopefully, be more positive in the next relationship. Life is too short to be playing useless games!” – Sandy, Denver, CO