Dear Wendy Updates: Fat Guy’s Girlfriend Responds

It’s time again for “Dear Wendy Updates,” a feature where people I’ve given advice to in the past let us know whether they followed the advice and how they’re doing today. After the jump, we hear from Fat Guy’s Girlfriend, a woman whose boyfriend quickly gained 20 pounds shortly after they started dating. She said that while there was no way she’d break up with him because of the weight, she was becoming less attracted to him and worried about what might happen if they married since he’d already let himself go so much (she suspected a proposal was on the horizon). So, did she ever broach the subject of his weight gain with her boyfriend? Are they still together? Is he still overweight? Find out after the jump.

I wrote to you last November about my boyfriend’s weight gain. To clarify, he was already slightly overweight when we met (bulky, but not fat). I tend to go for skinny guys without big muscles, so he was an anomaly. When he gained an extra 20 pounds over a few months, my attraction waned. I was afraid that if he was letting himself go now, what will he do when we’re actually married? There were no medical problems, but I’m glad you brought that up in your response. He started packing on the pounds due to inactivity and bad eating habits. He was also extremely comfortable in our relationship (we lived together and were talking about marriage). Some commenters thought I was being shallow and accused me of falling into a double standard. I understand this argument, but it did not apply to me. I also want to specify that I never once considered breaking up with my boyfriend over this.

Fast forward almost eight months and our relationship is stronger than ever. I never once expressed to him that I was unhappy with his appearance and I think that was important. We started playing tennis together on a weekly basis (before the summer heat became unbearable) and I bought him a mountain bike for his birthday. I also piqued his interest in nutrition. We buy local, organic, unprocessed food and rarely eat out anymore. After seeing him work out every day at the hotel gym while on vacation, I realized that if he had a gym membership, he would actually go. I also discovered that he’s not “okay” with being overweight and actually wants to get in shape. He wants to live a healthy lifestyle. Knowing this changed my entire perspective. I realized that health was the real issue to me, not so much physical appearance. I want to grow old with my future husband and raise children to be conscientious about what they’re putting into their bodies. Having a man who shares these ideals is much more important than a man with six-pack abs (which I don’t find attractive, anyhow). Thanks for responding to my letter!

Great news. Now, when’s the wedding?

If you’re someone I’ve given advice to in the past, I’d love to hear from you, too. Email me at {encode=”[email protected]” title=”[email protected]”} with a link to the original post, and let me know whether you followed the advice and how you’re doing now.

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