Trailer Park: “Predators,” “Winnebago Man,” “Despicable Me,” “The Girl Who Played with Fire”

I guess it’s been a crazy heatwave in the rest of the country, while it’s a chilly 64 degrees out here in Los Angeles. So, while I go to movies two to three times a week because I’m addicted to them, you guys are probably desperate for an escape from the heat. But I shouldn’t have to tempt you with air-conditioning and delicious buttery popcorn to get you to a movie. Some of this week’s movies are decades in the making and deserve some attention! There are a lot of slightly to very terrifying films on the roster, including “Predators,” “The Girl Who Played with Fire,” and “[REC] 2″ and there are two slightly less scary, more hilarious movies with “Winnebago Man” and “Despicable Me,” which I totally thought came out last week. Whoops!

The Movie: “Predators”
The Trailer: A sequel to the original “Predator” movie, a group of criminals and gangsters are sent to another planet where they soon realize that they have become the Predators’ training tools, as the aliens hunt them down in order to hone their killing skills. The leader of the group (Adrien Brody) tries to control the others (who include Topher Grace, Alice Braga, and Laurence Fishburne) while getting inside the mind of the “dreadlocked, pincer-faced, spinal cord-extracting beasties.” [EW]
The Hitch: Although I have absolutely no desire to see actors get ripped apart by terrifying aliens that look like walking demon computers, I must say that Adrien Brody looks pretty hot, even when he’s not playing the timid intellectual. And I know I need to stop judging movies by the eye-candy, but when there’s nothing else remotely appealing about it, I’m just grasping for the silver lining! I guess if you’re into being terrified by aliens who could trap you in a jungle and hunt you down, go for it. I prefer the Reese’s Pieces-loving kind of alien.

The Movie: “Winnebago Man”
The Trailer: Jack Rebney rose to internet fame when a video of him swearing up a storm in a Winnebago video hit YouTube. The amazing and hilarious outtakes brought joy to millions and filmmaker Ben Steinbauer decided to track him down and make a documentary about the self-proclaimed curmudgeon.
The Hitch: Holy crap, I love this guy! He knows perfectly well what he is and he’s totally unapologetic, which is admirable. I also like how serious they were about tracking him down and talking to the guy.

The Movie: “Despicable Me”
The Trailer: Gru (Steve Carell) is a villainous spoiled brat who plans on stealing the moon and inherits three little girls, but hoped they might be helpful in his evil deeds. Gru’s got mother issues, thanks to his withholding matriarch (Julie Andrews), and he’s also got some evil competition in Jason Segel.

The Hitch: I’m legitimately impressed by Carell’s voice work as Gru. And it helps when the evil character is somehow made endearing because of his childhood psychological issues and the introduction of the adorable ruffians he’s adopted. If you saw “Avatar,” you’ve probably already seen this trailer in remarkable 3-D magic, so you maybe already know how cool this movie looks on the big screen. And how adorable those evil minions are.

The Movie: “The Girl Who Played with Fire”
The Trailer: Two journalists, who’ve been following sex-trafficking between Eastern Europe and Sweden are brutally murdered, and a woman named Lisbeth Salander (Noomi Rapace) is blamed for their deaths. Lisbeth is also being hunted by the actual killers while magazine journalist Mikael Blomkvist (Michael Nyqvist) knows there is more to the story. He finds that Salander has a terrible past, having been committed at 12 years old and declared legally incompetent at 18. He finds that prominent men in Swedish society are responsible and he has to get to Salander before they do.
The Hitch: As the second book in Stieg Larsson’s trilogy, which was published posthumously, “The Girl Who Played with Fire” picks up where “The Girl With the Dragon Tattoo” left off and the upcoming “The Girl Who Kicked the Hornet’s Nest” will continue in the brilliant sensationalist thriller saga. I love the Swedish experience of darkness—something about the short days and large territories of untouched forests lends itself to a perfect setting for a murder mystery. And I’m kind of thrilled that a Swedish writer has become a New York Times bestseller; it’s just a shame it happened after his death.

The Movie: “[REC] 2″
The Trailer: The “highly anticipated” sequel continues 15 minutes after the first movie, in a quarantined apartment building where a virus has turned the residents into violent monsters. A SWAT team and government officials have been sent in to control the situation and quickly realize that there is no explanation and that what’s most important is to keep the situation isolated, or risk world-wide destruction.
The Hitch: I like horror movies but I’m not a huge fan of peeing myself in velour chairs in front of dozens of people. I actually saw the first movie because I guess my ex-boyfriend thought it would be funny to hear me screech a bunch, and the one thing I wasn’t wondering at the end was, “When’s the sequel coming out?” I live in an apartment building, and the idea that all my neighbors could turn into ultra-violent zombie-like things and I would be locked in with them terrifies me. Pass.