Frisky Rant: I’m On Team Vienna

Not that I was really on team anyone before, but I’ve watched the Jake and Vienna breakup special. Actually, I watched it twice, once alone and once with Aunt Mildred the body language expert, hoping to gain a new perspective. I always hated Vienna. When I watched her on “The Bachelor,” I thought she was a whiny, immature drama queen. That hasn’t changed. I still think she is. Maybe a little trashy. Maybe a little desperate for attention. Maybe just really young and naïve about the world. I thought I would still hate her on the breakup special. I wanted to. I thought I would side with Jake. Wrong. Like it or not, I’m totally on her team. I think she’s telling the truth about Jake being a controlling, misogynistic, lying, fame whore. I was appalled by how he handled himself on the show. I was scared of him. He was a mean, cold-as-ice, wannabe Alpha male. And even though Vienna was ridiculous with all the drama with her dog, wanting to go back to Florida, not wanting to go back to Florida, the furniture, and the GPS, that was nothing compared to watching Jake’s inner sociopath come out to play. I always wondered what was behind his “I’m perfect” façade. Now I know. He’s an angry, uptight, controlling bastard. My wish for both of them is that they disappear into obscurity — Jake to intensive therapy and Vienna to her new marketing job. Fingers crossed that neither of them resurface with nudie pics. I have seen enough.

So what did you think? Now that you’ve had a couple of days to let it marinate, are you on Team Jake or Team Vienna?