If you’re lucky, you have an awesome group of girlfriends. Our friends keep us sane and happy … most of the time. What about the friends who aren’t always true blue? The fair-weather friend is in your address book, but she doesn’t always make it to your planner. You count her as one of your closest buddies, but she has let you down more times than you can count. Here’s how to deal with a friend who isn’t treating you the way you deserve to be treated.
How to deal: Help her out, but give her a warning. Do the favor or give her the information she needs/wants, but add, “I expect a phone call later telling me how it went.” If you don’t get a thank you, a favor in return, or a catch-up session, don’t be so helpful the next time around.
How to deal: Know her behavior, and don’t be surprised when she ditches you every time a new guy comes into her life. If it really bothers you, speak up. Say, “I’m so happy you’re happy with Mark, but we haven’t hung out in so long. Can we please get together soon?” Make plans, and if she blows you off again, retreat from the friendship. You deserve a friend who is there for you no matter what her relationship status is.
How to deal: She probably doesn’t realize how self-absorbed she is. Interrupt your usual “uh-huh” and “no way” with, “The same thing happened to me last week! I was walking home … ” You can also bring it to her attention, or simply learn how much you can tolerate. Don’t call her as much, unless you’re in the mood to be her personal life coach.
How to deal: There is much more to a friendship than material perks. Stop being her personal chauffeur, and see what happens. Seriously, just say no. You can’t today — you have something to do. Is she still being nice to you? She’d better be.
How to deal: Weddings, birthdays, and bat mitzvahs are wonderful ways to bring friends together, but if your buddy lives down the street, major events shouldn’t be the only time you see each other. Out-of-town gals are obviously a different story, but if the lady is your neighbor and never stops by, your friendship might not be as strong as you think it is. Maybe keeping your distance really is the best way to prevent your feelings from getting hurt.