Chelsea Clinton’s Wedding: 10 Things We Hope Happen

Generally, I’m not that enthused about weddings. But if I got an invite to Chelsea Clinton’s wedding to Marc Mezvinsky, I’d be there in a second. After a year of speculation, new details have finally emerged about the mega-party of the summer. It looks like it’ll be happening on July 31st. While people thought it’d be taking place on Martha’s Vineyard, it now appears that Chelsea will be tying the knot in upstate New York at the estate formerly owned by John Jacob Astor IV, an amazing spot that has 50 acres of land, a facade modeled after Versailles, indoor tennis courts and a marble pool. Chelsea is going to rock an Oscar de la Renta gown, but, beyond that, we don’t know a whole lot about what’ll be going down. [Huffington Post, NY Daily News]

Since the Clintons are being super-secretive, we have no choice but to speculate. After the jump, check out a few things we hope happens on Chelsea’s big day.

  1. Bill Clinton busts out his saxophone and wows the crowd with some rocking tunes.
  2. Hillary Clinton wears something other than a pantsuit.
  3. The word on the street is that Al and Tipper Gore won’t be attending. “They both wish Chelsea well, believe she is a wonderful young woman, and they share in the family’s excitement,” a family spokesperson said. Here’s hoping they put aside the fact that they’re tabloid gold at the moment and show up anyway. Maybe someone could call Al a “big lummox” on the dance floor? [NY Daily News]
  4. The Clintons have said that they’re planting red herring info to throw the press off the wedding’s scent, so we hope they ditch the Astor Courts location and get married on the wedding truck instead.
  5. Wouldn’t it be cool if the Obamas showed up, and Malia caught Chelsea’s bouquet?
  6. Chelsea’s daddy has said he’s going to try his darndest not to cry, but secretly we hope he does.
  7. Oh, and Chelsea allegedly told Bill to lose about 15 pounds before her big day. If someone told me to do that I’d show up in a fat suit. Maybe Bill could do the same?
  8. Chelsea’s Mom is Methodist, her Dad is Southern Baptist, and her hubby-to-be is Jewish. We hope they don’t try to integrate all three together and, instead, have a non-religious ceremony.
  9. We’d laugh if the Salahis crash with the “Real Housewives of DC” cameras in tow.
  10. We hope no one brings cigars to celebrate. With Bill, the connotation is just oh-so-different. And while we’re at it, we hope no one brings up the infamous affair at all.

Congratulations, Chelsea and Marc!