Dear Wendy Updates: Anxious Bride Responds

In a new feature called “Dear Wendy Updates,” people I’ve given advice to in the past let us know whether they followed the advice and how they’re doing today. After the jump, we hear from “Anxious Bride,” a recently engaged woman who worried her outgoing fiancé would have lots more friends at the wedding than she would and that, consequently, “his side” would outnumber “her side” in an embarrassing way. She was also concerned that his friends and family would resent traveling to New York, to the venue where she always dreamed of getting married. So, is she still anxious? Has she decided on a spot for the wedding? Find out after the jump.

This is pretty recent and the wedding is still a long ways away, but I can say your advice and the comments I received have already been helpful! Like you say in your “Shortcuts” column, sometimes people just need to hear things bluntly from an outside perspective to get it through their heads. I see now it’s way too early to get worked up over something that will probably end up to be trivial in the grand scheme of things. I’m hoping if I curb my anxiety now about having far fewer friends at our wedding than my fiancé I won’t even give it a thought when the day comes. I also got some great ideas on the general wedding because I “fessed up” in the comments and was able to give more background info to my situation. Bonus!

As far as a status update: my fiancé and I have a trip back to my home area planned for the end of August so he can see more of the venue where I want to have our wedding. I THINK we can afford it, but we decided to not worry about putting the $2,000 non refundable deposit down (his mother keeps offering this to us already!) until he has a chance to tour the facility more. He’s still being supportive and says that as long as we can afford it and he doesn’t end up having a huge problem with the setting for some reason, he wants me to have the wedding wherever I want. Oh, and we have talked about having a party at our house in OH for those that can’t make it (but honestly I think the “people in OH that won’t travel to central NY” list is quite small.) And for the record, because I got the comment “just visit your friends in NY some other time” a few times … My friends will have to travel to either place, as will the majority of his. Going to NY is about the specific venue. If we decide to not get married there, I don’t care if we go to NY or not. Plus it’s not NYC, it’s a small town in central NY…. Not really a destination hot spot!

Other than that, if we decide we can’t have it in NY, I definitely don’t care where we get hitched and would rather elope! If this happens, I request an article titled “10 Things To Do/Expect When Eloping” haha. Thanks, Wendy & Frisky readers, for your input!

Good luck with the planning, AB!

If you are someone I’ve given advice to in the past, I’d love to hear from you, too (whether you liked my advice or hated it). Email me at {encode=”[email protected]” title=”[email protected]”} with a link to the post where your letter originally ran, and let me know whether you followed the advice and how you’re doing now.