Gee, we haven’t heard from Carrie Prejean in a while. Wonder what she’s up to? Turns out the beauty queen who’s against same-sex marriage is getting “opposite married” on Friday to NFL quarterback Kyle Boller. Mazel tov! It seems The Frisky’s invitation (and Perez Hilton’s, and Larry King‘s) got lost in the mail.
It would only be polite to send a gift, though. After the jump, some fitting gifts for our fave anti-gay, sex tape-having, dethroned Miss California:
- Elton John concert tickets.
- 10-pack of spray tans.
- A fancier video camera for when she films sex tapes of herself masturbating.
- Amnesty on the $5,200 she owes the Miss California Pageant organizer, K2 Productions, for paying for her boob job.
- Amnesty on the $64,857 she allegedly bilked her “Christian PR firm,” A. Larry Ross Communications, for.
- This hoochie Spiderwoman Halloween costume she modeled for Women of Marvel. For roleplaying, duh.
- Does Shanna Moakler have a calendar? Then that.
- A crown. You know, because the Miss California pageant dethroned Carrie for “contract violations.”
- A tub of Vaseline for those glossy pageant teeth.
- Since it’s super douche-y that she will be enjoying a privilege she thinks should be denied to millions of gay and lesbian Americans, looks like what Carrie is most in need of is some compassion. Do they sell that at Walmart?