• Relationships

Dear Wendy Updates: “Military Brat” Responds

It’s time again for “Dear Wendy Updates,” in which people I’ve given advice to in the past let us know whether they followed the advice and how they’re doing today. After the jump, we hear from “Military Brat,” a young woman who wrote in when her boyfriend, whom she didn’t see a future with, started pressuring her to tie the knot. She was considering joining the military and he said if she did, they really needed to get married first. So, did she join the military? Did she marry her boyfriend? Did she break up with him? Find out after the jump.

Back in September of 2009, you responded to a letter I sent you about the relationship I was in at that time. The advice you gave me was kind of like a much needed kick in the butt and you were right. When the relationship did finally end and I started living and thinking for myself, I no longer was interested in joining the military. I remember when I initially read your response, I felt really bothered because I never saw myself as doing anything wrong since I was always honest and straightforward with my ex-boyfriend about where our relationship was going. The more I thought about it though, I realized that it was wrong of me to continue in a relationship that I didn’t see a future in.

Our relationship ended within a week of the post, but because we were living together and he had no where else to go, I let him continue to live with me (the apartment was in my name only), until he had the money to afford his own place. To say the least, it was yet another mistake because he was under the illusion that I would change my mind about us and that we would get back together again and I was under the illusion that our friendship would hold strong and continue once enough time had passed. It was a little over three months before he finally moved out and I pretty much knew by then that our friendship was over. We kept in brief contact through email for a couple of weeks after he moved out, but then he stopped contacting me and I respected his decision.

Of course, a month after that, he wrote a blog about how much he hated me and though I don’t feel like I deserved any of what he said about me, I actually feel OK with it, if that makes any sense at all. I think most people’s initial response to someone writing a nasty blog about them would be to contact the person who wrote it and to defend themselves, but I got the feeling that that’s exactly what he was hoping I’d do and so I chose to not respond and to close that door once and for all.

As for how I am doing today, I’m great and have been dating a really fantastic man who … fingers crossed … I do see a future with. Thanks!

Glad to hear it all worked out and that Military Brat took the high road when her ex “acted out.” It’s almost always better to simply move on and not engage in the drama.

If you are someone I’ve given advice to in the past, I’d love to hear from you, too (whether you liked my advice or hated it). Email me at {encode=”dearwendy@thefrisky.com” title=”dearwendy@thefrisky.com”} with a link to the post where your letter originally ran, and let me know whether you followed the advice and how you’re doing now.

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