Advice From A Stripper: How To Wear High Heels
Today’s high heels regularly reach five inches, and platforms formerly reserved for stripper shoes are an honest-to-goodness civilian trend. While the figure-enhancing allure of a higher heel is obvious to this dancer, I’m surprised every time I see a young woman clomping along the sidewalk in a pair of shoes in which she clearly can’t walk. There’s a learning curve to graceful perambulation in high heels, and some gals try to leap from one-inch kitten heels to five-inch spikes without giving themselves a chance to learn how to walk the walk. It’s no surprise there’s a class that’ll teach you how to walk in heels, but if you can’t spend a week in hooker-heel class, you can still use my pointers. For me, it’s a job skill, seeing how I’m often wearing nothing but spike-heeled platforms.1. Begin with beginner heels. It’s best to start with a shorter heel and work your way up. Those eight-inch heels with the three-inch platforms aren’t the shoes a new stripper starts in. She begins in, say, a five-inch heel with a one-inch platform, or maybe those low, chunky heels from Payless, and works her way up as she becomes more comfortable in them. It’s much easier and safer to learn the basics in a shorter heel before trying to walk in stilettos.
2. Wear your shoes around the house. We tell new strippers to wear their new, unfamiliar six-inch platform heels at home for a few hours each day so they get familiar with the weight on their feet and the difference in balance. This is especially helpful when you’re not used to a platform, as it can take a while to feel steady in them. You can watch yourself in the mirror and practice your sexy dance moves, too!
3. Heel to toe. The heel should hit the ground before the toe. Don’t be a toewalker! Picking the knee up extra high and setting down the toe first is what makes for a good Clydesdale imitation. Steps that are very small and timid make for a tottering, unstable walk. Think nice, smooth, medium-length strides, and don’t be afraid to move slowly. Setting one foot directly in front of the other will produce a sexy, hip-swinging glide.
4. Customize your fit. If you’re expending energy just keeping your shoe on, you’ll wind up with sore legs and a choppy walk. Make sure your foot is secure. Invest in one of those little packets of fit helpers with different types of padding and non-slip pads for the straps, heel, and toes. Pads under the balls of the feet are really helpful for open-toe shoes and keep your feet from sliding forward.
5. Buy actual stripper shoes. Not goldfish platforms or anything, but if you’re just going to buy those heels at the mall, you might as well get the stripper brands like Pleaser, Ellie, or Tony. The single-sole, small platform stilettos are actually a great deal more comfortable and stable than most “civilian” heels. They won’t fool anyone who knows her shoes but are a good way to get used to platforms without a big investment. Tip: Stay away from the clear heels. There are plenty of stripper shoes made with opaque plastic!
Certainly, most Frisky readers are already proficient strutters, but if this helps take one clod-hopping toewalker off the streets, it will be reward enough.
Follow Bubbles Burbujas on Twitter.