365 Days In Paris: In A Nutshell
Attendez! OK, I know my farewell post has gone up, but here’s a little extra bonus. After the jump, a chronological summary of 365 Days in Paris. Bref, what happens when you move to Paris for a year …
- First, have a quarter-life crisis and decide you need to turn your life into some sort of perverted Julia Roberts movie.
- Get settled and attempt to start dating in Paris.
- Find that dating in France is supremely effed up.
- Meet a French guy through online dating and become amazed by how fast the relationship moves.
- Break up with said Frenchman because you’re completely freaked out by how fast the relationship moves.
- Have a casual fling with an American Boy. C’mon, you knew that would never last.
- Celebrate Thanksgiving in Paris, a holiday that not one French person can pronounce nor understand.
- Spend Christmas with your awesome new girlfriend, getting smashed on champagne on a cabaret boat. Decide Christmas in Paris is the most awesome thing ever even though you are Jewish.
- Get unexpected e-mail from your ex-boyfriend in Amsterdam, the “one who got away,” who you’ve never stopped thinking of. Things heat up on Skype, and he hops on a train to spend New Year’s with you. Advance two spaces.
- Complete devastation once Amsterdam boy is gone and you’ve realized that you got your heart broken. For the second time. What the hell? Go back five spaces.
- Attempt to recover from your breakup (or whatever it was) by getting drunk with friends at a crazy couscous restaurant and riding a bike home at three in the morning. (This is very dangerous. Please do not actually do this.)
- Go home to NYC for a visit, hoping you might gain some clarity about what you want to do with your life. Return to Paris just as confused as ever.
- Decide you need to stop feeling sorrow for your broken heart, and go back online to start dating again. Find that online dating in Paris is a wasteland.
- Have a one-night stand with a French guy. At least, you think it was a one-night stand. Was it a one-night stand? Ask Parisian friends about casual sex. They say they do not understand the term. Get stood up by French guy. Definitely a one-night stand.
- Take much-deserved vacation to Israel. Return to Paris spiritually cleansed and convinced that things are about to turn around.
- They do.
- Hooray! You now have a French boyfriend and you even passed the test with his French family.
- Decide you’re going to stay in Paris for a while longer, if not for the romance, then at least for the cheese.