Leonora’s Top 10 “WTF Was I Thinking?” Clothing Purchases

I’m there with Jessica and Susannah in wondering “WTF Was I Thinking?” when I bought that … I sometimes fail to believe that I am indeed a fashion blogger (and one who even tries to blog from a budget-friendly point of view!) and yet I hardly ever follow my own advice. (Although, to be fair, isn’t this a bit of a universal problem?) The issue is that I am both naive and whimsical, but also seriously obsessed with luxe labels. Hence, a closet filled with WTF purchases. I will never learn.

  1. A vintage lace dress that just wouldn’t zip. I swear: It. Will. Just. Fit. If. I. Suck. In. Arrrrraaaghh! This gorgeous cocktail dress was a satin shift with a black lace overlay. It was just about the teeniest thing you’ve ever seen and the back zipper stopped short just at my bra line. I didn’t want to destroy the dress in the store, but reasoned that I’d be able to force the zipper at home. No dice. Not even a bit of weight loss helped. You can’t change your rib cage size and you can’t alter things with lace.
  2. Sequin leggings. Why? They’re original? I don’t know. Don’t ask.
  3. An Agent Provacateur demi-cup bra with nipple tassels. Never mind that I didn’t have a boyfriend at the time, and wasn’t even close to getting laid. For some reason, this $150+ purchase seemed like a good thing “for a girl to have.” A word to the wise: demi-cup bras cannot be worn practically. And, in case you were wondering, neither can nipple tassels.
  4. A $144 black T-shirt, just because I felt particularly self-loathing. I was on the way to an event and felt ugly and hated my outfit. I wrote about this the next day on my blog, and looking back, wow was I ever in a funk: “I leave work feeling frenetic, panicked. I am ugly, and have found nothing to wear at Urban, so on a whim, I stop in iHeart, a boutique on Mott St. I pass on the way to the gallery. Only thing that looks good is a T-shirt. I spend 144 dollars on this f**king black T-shirt because it is the only way I am going to feel moderately good about myself and get through the next three hours.” Predictably, the purchase didn’t make the party any better.
  5. A $230 swimsuit with a corset back. It takes two people and about two hours to get in and out of. My boobs don’t fit the cups. And don’t even think about trying to swim in it. Yup, I bought it online.
  6. A $200 cape top. Don’t hop on trends too quickly. And if you do, hop on them at TJ Maxx, Filene’s Basement, or Forever 21. By now, you have probably realized that it’s taken me a lot of mistakes to learn how to manage my money. Trust me, there is shame written all over this article.
  7. A second pair of sequin leggings. Do not go shopping when you are drunk.
  8. Pretty much everything I bought during my first job at a women’s magazine. Chunky jeweled necklaces. Sweater dresses. Thick patent belts. Fake Rolex-like men’s watches. It took me a while to realize the girls I was trying to emulate in the fashion department got most of that stuff for free.
  9. A pair of chunky leather ankle booties from COS that I bought in London. The price was actually very reasonable for these beautiful shoes. However, the slightly uncomfortable feeling in my arches in the store turned into full-on agony a few blocks later. I literally cannot wear them.
  10. A demi-couture dress from an up-and-coming designer. About a year ago, I wrote about a designer (who will remain anonymous) who was getting lots of press for being on a reality show. After the article came out, I really wanted one of the designer’s dresses, which was offered to me at the wholesale price. Even wholesale, it wasn’t a cheap purchase. I ordered a size 6, which came back as more of a size 0. While trying to squeeze into it, I managed to ruin the zipper on the dress. (Uh, because I maybe had a friend try to zip me in using a pliers.) I was too embarrassed to tell the designer. The thing hangs ruined and unworn in my closet, a tribute to my stupidity.