Behind The Crazy: The Best Quotes From Courtney Love’s “Behind The Music”

VH1’s “Behind the Music” is so back! And they have Courtney Love and the inner sanctum of her crazy mind to thank for that. It is hands down one of the most insane interviews to come out in forever. In case you missed it on Monday night, here are some priceless quotes from the raging screamer herself. Also, they’ll be re-airing it for the next couple of weeks. MUST NOT MISS. After the jump, the highlights—quote by precious, psychotic quote. [Popeater] On lying to her parents:

“I would just tell them lies … just lie. ‘I had four abortions this month,’ which is biologically impossible.”

On fame:

“I get this s**t because I’m the only f**king chick standing and I’m a crazy bitch and I’m a widow and it makes me sick. It’s f**king pathetic! Stop it, seriously, or I’ll f**king kill you!”

On being a rock star:

“You’ve gotta be able to play topless and feel like a f**king Amazon.”

On her nose obsession:

“The men with the two best noses in rock n’ roll were Axl Rose and Kurt Cobain and I certainly wasn’t going to mate with Axl Rose.”

On breaking up with Billy Corgan for Kurt Cobain:

“At the truck stop the next day I called Corgan and said, ‘I’m so going with this guy. He’s first of all really good in bed and I like him and he’s cute.’ Billy’s nose wasn’t that bad, but I was all about mating for a nose.”

On Kurt’s drug problem:

“I’d have to f**king slap him and put pins in his balls and put ice cubes everywhere and whatnot and it started to piss me off.”

On her relationship with Trent Reznor:

“Don’t call your band Nine Inch Nails if you have a three-inch one. My band’s called Hole—it’s not called Little Hole, it’s not called Big Hole, it’s not called Flapping Nonny, it’s not called Teeny Rosebud, it’s not called Barbie P**sy, it’s called Hole.”

On being in a mental hospital:

“I used it as like a condo. I said to my gynecologist, ‘If you don’t let me stay here I won’t go through with this.'”

On her drug use:

“I dedicated my worst record to Cameron Crowe and the Scientologists. Like, that’s how much I was on drugs.”

On her Rohypnol abuse:

“I was asking someone why does Rohypnol have such a bad rap and they said, ‘horrible memory loss.’ Well that’s what happens when I meet someone and I don’t know if I hate them or I like them or what. But I know that I did something, did I f**k them? I don’t know. Rohyponol. ”

On getting pregnant:

“They begged me to get an abortion, begged me to get an abortion. I knew full well that my zygote was was fine. Full f**king well, so I was like ‘suck it.”’