Questions For Our Fathers: Simcha’s Dad

In honor of Father’s Day we’re interviewing our dads to find out how their lives changed when we were born and what they learned about love and life as a parent. Today, Simcha’s dad.

My dad, as Steven Martin would put it, is one “wild and crazy guy.” He likes Hawaiian shirts, sex jokes, and opera. In his truck, he was always hiding some present for me, a ladybug ring, cool pencils, a tennis ball he turned into a Ninja Turtle. It was never a dull moment growing up with that guy! I am definitely his equally wacky daughter. And although he calls the family dog by my name, a lot, I think he knows she doesn’t write for The Frisky; this bitch does. So, I decided to ask him these questions in honor of Father’s Day. He managed to surprise me, again, by actually getting all sentimental. This may be the first letter from him that does not have a fart joke. But don’t worry. Although he doesn’t let one rip, there is still plenty of Yiddish.I know you and Mom thought I was going to be a boy, but then surprise, I was a girl! Did you think I was justice for all the crazy dating you did in the ‘70s?

All I asked for was a happy and healthy child. Justice or the ’70s never was even an issue with my happiness knowing Mom was pregnant.

Uh-huh, I wonder if your old girlfriends would agree? Anyway, I feel like mothers and sons have a special bond, and so do daddies and daughters. What’s so great about having a little girl?

What makes you truly special is that you grew up exactly the way you wanted to grow up and we love every minute.

Dang, you tricked me. I was trying to rebel by being independent! OK, level with me, what’s the best thing about being a dad to a girl?

Taking his daughter shopping. I wanted you to have fun clothes. Frankly, I cannot think of a time we have gone shopping that I did not enjoy being with you. You have a keen eye, selective taste and a wonderful sense of balance. 

Dad, you were always a great shopping buddy! I really was lucky to have a dad that didn’t think the mall was a form of fashion torture. Now, what is your proudest Dad moment of all time?

Watching you handle your decision-making. A parent tries to impart values, goals, ethics and life experiences. Seeing you make the hard decisions and implementing them is fabulous.

You always talked very frankly, and mostly in silly puns, about sex. You let me hang out with fellow construction workers on job sites and they, as you know, talked like construction workers. Now I write for The Frisky, covering pretty much the same topics your coworkers did. I feel like they taught me invaluable life and love lessons, but is this what you expected from me?

My desires and wishes were to enlighten you with as many life experiences not only in all the disciplines of arts — literature, music, ballet, opera, museums — but also to enhance them by going to Disney World, arboretums, zoos, synagogues, beaches, camps, parties, Bocahontis [our father/daughter group], your Bat Mitzvah, sleeping over at grandma and grandpa’s—oh so many things.  You have grown up to be a fun-loving and happy girl, which enriches my heart too. I only expect you to you be the person you are and be true to yourself. Blog away!

Well, I ask Grandma for advice all time. Now it’s your turn — what advice do you have for me about men?

You will know the man that is for you. He will look into your eyes with desire; he will be passionate about listening to every word you say. You will know. He will help augment your being. He will be your bashert— the one that was meant to be your special lover and friend, your heart’s desire. He will complement you and you will complement him. As I have recommended — because you are exceptionally articulate, smart, and vivacious— when in a heated discussion, you do not always have to win. You can be right, but let your man, from time to time, win. Winning is not the goal in life. It is the way you complement and nurture. Behind every successful man is a special woman.

Oy. Dad, puke about the “behind every successful man” BS. What am I chopped liver?! Why can’t there be some polite guy supporting me? Your mom is better at this. Uh-oh, did my response just completely validate the first part of your statement? Anyway, I love you and I want to buy you a present for Father’s Day. What do you want? 

What I always want. It is a special gift that only a child who truly loves her dad can give and there’s nothing better: “I LOVE YOU DADDY!”

So, for Father’s Day, you want me to lie? KIDDING! You’re the awesomest, Dad, and I love you! Happy Father’s Day!