The Situation Vs. The Countess: Whose Single Sucks Worse?

Lord have mercy, The Situation has released a “rap” song. Titled “The Situation,” the verdict is clear — he should stick to fist-pumping on the boardwalk.

Alas, this “Jersey Shore” juicehead isn’t the only reality star with musical aspirations. Who could forget Countess LuAnn DeLesseps from “The Real Housewives of NYC,” who recently released her single, “Money Can’t Buy You Class”? (We’d prefer to forget about “Tardy For The Party” entirely.)

After the jump, I generously sacrifice my eardrums to investigate which reality show single sucks the hardest.

Countess LuAnn’s “Money Can’t Buy You Class”:

  • +1: The lyrics are hella quotable. Your sister gets a raise? “Money can’t buy you class.” Your boyfriend spills marinara sauce on himself? “Elegance is learned, my friend.” See, it’s fun!
  • -5: Girlfriend cannot hit the low notes when she sings the words “my friends.” It kind of makes you feel bad for her.
  • +1: It’s entertaining to pronounce “cla-ass” as if it is two syllables.
  • -20: This song sticks in your head like bubblegum in hair.

Score: -23

The Situation’s “The Situation”:

  • -5: Only an extreme narcissist like The Situation names his first single after himself.
  • -1: You know those really annoying horns they blow in dance clubs? (Not a vuvuzela.) Yeah, there’s one in this song.
  • -1: The Situation actually says the word “mother-effing” — as in, not “motherf**king,” but “mother-effing.” That’s hardcore, man.
  • +10: This song is utterly, utterly forgettable.

Score: +3

There you have it: “The Situation”‘s is actually the less terrible of these two singles.

Hey, can I file a worker’s comp for this? [TMZ]