How Did Charlie Sheen’s Car End Up At The Bottom Of A Ravine, AGAIN?

At 3 a.m. last night, a security guard at a building in Sherman Oaks, California, heard a crash nearby and called the cops to investigate. Turns out a car had been pushed over the ravine—the keys were in the ignition, and the car was running, but it appeared that no one was in the driver’s seat. The car was Charlie Sheen’s Mercedes. When the cops called him, he said he had no idea it was missing and that he had parked it in his driveway at 4 p.m. This case is made even stranger by the fact that almost an identical thing happened with this Mercedes on February 5th. Charlie discovered his car was missing, called the police, and they found it shortly after at the bottom of a 100-foot cliff.

So what the heck happened here? After the jump, some theories.

  1. Charlie is a sleepwalker, err, car-off-cliff pusher.
  2. A staff member at Charlie’s home hates him as much as ex Denise Richards and estranged wife Brooke Mueller, and keeps stealing the car as a quiet protest.
  3. Charlie has multiple personalities, a la “The United States of Tara,” one of whom is a strict anti-capitalist who wants to get rid of Sheen’s most extravagant possessions. Thus, when this personality has control, he drives the car off the ravine.
  4. Charlie has multiple personalities, one of whom is a frat boy who enjoys driving cars off cliffs and bashing in mailboxes.
  5. Ghosts did it!
  6. Charlie actually is a crack head and keeps doing this while high.
  7. Brooke Mueller, who’s moved out of the house, made copies of the car keys and keeps taking it and pushing it off ravines in hopes of making Charlie think either 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, or 6 is the case.