Dear wendy 17
I am in love with a married whom I work with. From the start, there was something there between us that neither of us could deny it. Overtime, we developed a friendship and he started to talk about his marriage — how they were just friends and he was pressured into marrying her. Later on into our friendship, we became closer and closer and eventually became intimate. Months later he declared to me that he was in love with me. Over time, I began to fall in love with him, too. Soon I became frustrated and stressed about the situation and the restrictions I had with him since he is married, so I told him I couldn’t do this any longer. He promised he was going to move out, but two months later he and his wife bought a townhome together! I keep walking away from him and then get sucked right back into it, which has become emotionally draining. A few months ago, he told his wife about me and she has since found my number and asked if I could step aside and let her try and win him back. My dilemma is: I love him deeply and genuinely, and want to give us a chance but I’m at a breaking point and I’m tired of hurting, crying, being stressed, frustrated, having migraines and chest pains, and not eating, all because I crave him and want a chance with the person I love BUT the right way. What should I do, still knowing I have to work with this individual and try and fake I’m OK? I have been going out with my current girlfriend for almost a year now, and she has recently started a new job. a couple of days ago I was emailing her, and she was telling me a story about a male coworker that was hanging around her desk talking to her, I thought no big deal about it at the time. Then just they other day she tells me she is going to play bingo on her lunch break (something she never has done before). So I ask if it is a work related thing. She start by saying “don’t get mad” then she tells me that she is going to play with a male coworker that asked her to join him. So I ask her if this is the same coworker who was at her desk, and it turns out it is this same guy. He is a single guy, and works in completely different department as her. She tells me that they are just friends at work, and she didn’t want to offend anybody at her new job. So in my mind I feel like this guy is trying to get close to her, because he likes her, and wants to take her out, but I’m not sure if I should relay these things to my girlfriend, because I don’t want her to just think that I’m am a jealous jerk (I’m am definitely jealous, but I don’t think I’m a jerk hahaha) and think that I’m trying to interfere with her work life. What should I do? Tell her what I think is going on, and that I’m uncomfortable about it, or just take her word for it, sit at work with a fake smile, and be jealous?
Jealous but not a Jerk!