We Cast “Mean Girls 2″

If you don’t count “Mean Girls” as one of the best movies of the last decade, then you just weren’t paying enough attention. And now Paramount Famous Productions has given the go-ahead on “Mean Girls 2″ — just a mere six years later. Given the first movie’s superior Tina Fey-penned humor, it would be tragic if this one were anything but fantastic. The proposed plot goes something like this: “A new high school student, Jo, who agrees to befriend an outcast, Abby, at the urging of Abby’s wealthy father in exchange for paying all of Jo’s costs for the college of her dreams. Jo and Abby team up to take on the school’s ‘mean girls,’ the Plastics. The story becomes a high stakes battle of loyalty that ultimately comes to a head when one of our heroines finds out that her friendship has been bought and paid for.” [NY Post]

Because the original cast is either too famous, too old, or too crazy — ahem, Lohan, ahem — to return for the sequel, we’ve recast it to our liking. After the jump, our picks.The Saboteurs:

  • Jo (the Cady Heron character played by Lindsay Lohan). It’s hard to even begin thinking about Lindsay Lohan in arguably the highest point in her career. She was funny, curvy, and redheaded. The only logical replacement is Emma Stone. She manages to pull off super-hot but believably nice and awkward. I think she can just still pass for high school.
  • Abby (presumably the Janis Ian character played by Lizzy Caplan). As the outcast sexually ambiguous character, I think Alia Shawkat of “Arrested Development” would be a good best friend with a mean streak. She’s got a mischievous gleam in her eyes, unassuming freckles, and if I were in high school, I would totally follow her into the deep end. Or I guess in this case, accept money to be her friend?

The Plastics:

  • Regina George (Rachel McAdams). The queen bee of The Plastics has to be terrifyingly intimidating, and I have a feeling that Willa Holland (Kaitlin Cooper on “The O.C.”) gets typecast for a reason. She’s beautiful and terrifying. And I would love to see her get fat on Kalteen bars and fake run over by a bus. (Now I sound like a mean girl.) Amy Poehler had better come back as her mom.
  • Karen Smith (Amanda Seyfried). Seyfried was perfect at the dumb blond routine. I’m thinking Juno Temple (“Atonement” and “Year One”) could pull off that wide-eyed, blank stare pretty well. And she’s already been a part of a clique in the movie “Wild Child,” so she’s probably got the eye-rolling and social-climbing skills.
  • Gretchen Wieners (Lacy Chabert). I guess Lacy Chabert isn’t really doing anything, but she might be past the point of pulling off 16 years old. So, for the paranoid, ethnically ambiguous friend, I really like “The Vampire Diaries”‘s Malese Jow. She’s already pretty evil on that show, but it would be nice to give her a break from the blood-sucking.

The Boy Toy:

  • Aaron Samuels (Jonathan Bennett). The man candy is kind of irrelevant as girls will fight over whoever the hot commodity is, but if we’re going to pick an adorable upcoming star, I’d say that Aaron Johnson (“Kick-Ass”) should get the role. He’s kind of dreamy and seems nice enough to give the new girl a chance. And it’s not because I’m trying to break him up from his cougar girlfriend, I swear!

Who do you guys think should take over these iconic roles?