How To Hook Up During The World Cup

Around World Cup time, babelicious European, South American, Australian, African, and Asian dudes pack bars to watch the games. American men don’t care about soccer, but maybe they’re just afraid to be in the bar at the same time as all the hunks who do. So girl, if you like guys with accents and ripped, sweaty men duking it out on TV, soccer just might be the sport for you! I’ve already told you how to hook up at a wedding, on Valentine’s Day, on Halloween, on July 4th, on Thanksgiving, on Christmas, and on New Year’s Eve … but there is one more bang-tastic event and it only comes around every four years — the height of soccer season and it starts today. If you want to play the field during the World Cup, here’s how you can really score!

  1. Go In Uniform. Do not go looking all clubby or fancy. Be casual. If you have the jersey of a team who is playing, awesome. If you have knee- or thigh-high striped tube socks and running shorts, even better. Guys go crazy for girls who dress fake-athletic. Case in point: Kendra, Gisele, and every friggin’ dude’s favorite American Apparel ad.
  2. Go To A Bar That Advertises World Cup Watching. Sports bars that are all about American football and baseball might not necessarily be the right spot for soccer ogling. It’s usually a local bar that caters to people who live for the black and white ball that gets packed full of hunks. For instance, I like to go to a Brazilian bar or a British pub. Check out who around town is promoting the games and then hit up that sausage fest.
  3. Avoid Hooligans. They may be fun to hang out with, but they’ll be too drunk to get it up for anything. They’re more likely to get their butt licked in a fight than lick your butt later that night.
  4. Bring Lady Friends. A group of cheering gals will attract attention for sure and get men to notice you. Now that the groundwork is laid, make sure you go to the bar alone once or twice. This will give men the chance to approach you solo since often guys are intimidated by groups.
  5. No Guy Friends. Not even gay ones. Any penis in the mix will be a vag block to other dudes. Although, you can go to a bar where you know a guy and his friends will be there. Meeting a man through a friend is always a good thing.
  6. Be In The Know. In other words, fake it till you make it, literally. No need to be a hardcore fan, but when you realize what game you’re going to watch, find out about the teams. This way, you can at least have a few good opening lines of conversation with the true fans and know when to genuinely cheer. Otherwise you’ll just look like a poser — some dumb girl trying to pick up men at a sporting event. Lame-o, you’re better than that. [I am? -- Editor Amelia]
  7. Bigger Is Better. Pick a game with a strong rivalry or team following that will draw a good size crowd. This will give you more options, just by playing the numbers game. But also, if you pick a game that’s at 9 a.m. on a Monday, what dudes will really be able to go to that? Don’t waste your time.
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