What Should Spencer Pratt Do For Money Now That Heidi Montag Is Gone?

OK, so maybe we were a little quick to assume that Heidi Montag leaving Spencer Pratt was a lame publicity stunt. Apparently, Heidi has filed actual legal separation papers. This isn’t a divorce, but one big thing it does is make Heidi’s earnings her own. This is a big deal because “The Hills” is dunzo after this season, and Spencer just received his final check for the show. Meanwhile, Heidi has a while new spin-off show starting with Jen Bunney, and Spencer won’t make a thing for it. It’s hard to feel too bad for him because his “Hills” check is for a whopping $675,000, but sources say that that’s nothing to Spencer. “I wouldn’t be surprised if Spencer goes postal now,” a source said. “The way that kid blows through cash, I wouldn’t be surprised if he’s broke by the end of July.” [Radar Online]

So what can Spencer do to make money now? Some job ideas after the jump.

  • Open a nightclub—it’s what douchebags generally do.
  • Write a “pick-up artist” book like The Game about how to turn a normal woman into your own personal Barbie doll.
  • Babysitting, since he LOVES kids.
  • Take over “Girls Gone Wild,” since Joe Francis always has legal troubles.
  • Human target at a paintball course.
  • Found a self-help seminar called “Be the Villain.”
  • Become a clothing designer/model groper for Dov Charney at American Apparel.
  • Preacher, since he’s all about Jesus these days.
  • iHop toilet cleaner
  • Become Britney Spears’ bodyguard. We hear she needs one who doesn’t mind nudity.
  • Channel his rage into a workout empire, à la Tae Bo.