If I had to choose between owning an iPhone 4 and a Jane Lynch, I would totally pick Jane, because who the hell would I need to talk to if I was already with the funniest person in the world? No one, that’s who. But if the iPhone 4 actually looked like Kassem G, I would maybe cheat on Jane to make out with my iPhone. This is why I don’t buy expensive things. It’s too hard to be faithful!