Russell Brand’s Hookup Tips That Will Work For Us Ladies

Before Russell Brand was a proud groomzilla, he was a charming bachelor who did more than his fair share of wooing. Way more. Like, sex addict more. Luckily, he’s decided to bestow some of his hookup wisdom on those of us who are still single and ready to mingle. We may not be using some of the tips anytime soon—like “warming up the bullpen,” which is glorified code for setting up a girl-on girl menage a trois. Thanks, but no thanks. But some of the other tips are genius. After the jump, five of Russell Brand’s tips that we ladies can use.

  1. Alcohol is a great lubricant. For everyone. Always. But not too much of it. Let the dude buy you a drink. Duh.
  2. Natch, you’re not going to make any progress if you’re not sharing any eye contact with the dude du jour.
  3. Talk about a physical activity that most people have done to establish common ground. Guys love to talk about sports. Pick one you’re into. As in … last weekend I ran a marathon. It will also get them thinking about both of you getting all sweaty, if you know what I mean.
  4. If you’re going to get busy, you must relocate to a secondary location. Like, uh, a place with a bed. Thanks for that one, Russell! I never would have thought of that.
  5. If you haven’t been hooking up enough, it’s probably because you haven’t been talking enough about the apocalypse. Apparently, it’s an aphrodisiac that makes people more inclined to carpe diem. This could be the end to your dry spell … and the world as we know it. [Asylum]