Trailer Park: “Get Him To The Greek,” “Splice,” “Killers,” “Rosencrantz And Guildenstern Are Undead”

It’s barely summer, but it’s already getting to the point where people are sweating the second they step outside. And for me, inside, since I refuse to blight my window with an air conditioning unit. It’s this time of the year that I remember why movie theaters are so great—air conditioning! Thankfully, there are some interesting movies coming out this week, including the hilarious “Get Him to the Greek,” terrifying “Splice,” romantic funny “Killers,” or just plain silly “Rosencrantz and Guildenstern are Undead.” Now go get some air!

The Movie: “Get Him to the Greek”
The Trailer: Aaron (Jonah Hill) is a low-level assistant at a record company. In order to save the company and their client Aldous Snow’s (Russell Brand) career, he suggests that they do a 10th anniversary performance at the Greek Theater. His boss (Sean Combs) sends him on a 72-hour mission to get Aldous from London to New York. But Aldous just wants to share his rock-n-roll lifestyle with the young man and some sex, barfing, and excess ensues.
The Hitch: There’s something disturbingly hot about Russell Brand. I think it’s in the eyelids and that cocky rock star shtick he’s so good at playing. Normally, movies about things going wrong where someone must do something or risk destroying their career stress me out, but since Ben Stiller isn’t in this movie, and I kinda even love Jonah Hill, this might be fun? Plus, I heard somewhere that Brand and Hill totally hate Diddy now, so I’m curious to see that dynamic.

The Movie: “Splice”
The Trailer: Clive (Adrien Brody) and Elsa (Sarah Polley) are genetic engineer lovers who create a hybrid, though mostly human, clone in secret. Their test-tube DNA experiment begets Dren (Delphine Chanéac), who is part human and part scary retractable wings and hinged bird leg thing. She gets out of control and Clive and Elsa realize that they’ve created something unholy.
The Hitch: I am terrified by the scientific horror genre. Since scientists are working all the time and we mostly hear about inane studies that prove things we already know, there have got to be some crazy things actually going down in those labs. I spent the trailer trying to figure out who Sarah Polley is until I remembered the movie “Go,” which was kind of amazing. And Adrien Brody is one of the prettiest men ever — I hope he’s not actually hooking up with Paris Hilton, even though I secretly like her too. Anyway, back to the topic at hand, this looks scary but strangely satisfying. I just hope it doesn’t scare too many people into thinking this is what scientists actually do, because genetic engineering is a super fascinating field and we don’t need any riots.

The Movie: “Killers”
The Trailer: On vacation with her parents in the French Riviera after a nasty breakup, Jen Kornfeldt (Katherine Heigl) thinks she’s doomed to become an old maid. But then, a dashing Spencer Aimes (Ashton Kutcher) sweeps her off her feet and whisks her away to a pleasant suburban married life. Turns out, Spencer is an international spy who is under attack and Jen has to help him survive while simultaneously trying to figure out whether she can live this life and trust her husband again.
The Hitch: Originally, I thought the movie looked crappy and that Heigl and Kutcher couldn’t possibly have any chemistry, but this particular trailer painted a much more believable and endearing picture. I like the build-up of the story better than the premise itself, but it’s nice to see Kutcher playing a suave, tough guy instead of a sappy stoner. I’m still not sure if I like Heigl and Kutcher together, but it looks like a sweet, dysfunctional “Mr. and Mrs. Smith,” maybe?

The Movie: “Rosencrantz and Guildenstern are Undead”
The Trailer: Julian Marsh is an unemployed actor and ladies’ man, living in an apartment above his dad’s medical office. His dad helps him out by getting his son a gig directing an off-Broadway play, which happens to be an adaptation of Hamlet, written by a Romanian master vampire named Horatio. Julian gets some of his friends and an ex-girlfriend parts in the play, and finds that his cast keeps dying and un-dying and there’s something about the Holy Grail, but the show must go on!
The Hitch: I think that based on the title alone, I have to cosign this movie. It looks pretty ridiculous, but also pretty funny. It’s nice to see the beautiful Devin Aoki back in the movies. And for some reason, this whole vampire thing hasn’t quite worn itself out yet.