10 Signs He Might Be A Moodle

Is your new flavor of the week extremely good-looking, complementary at the bar, always well-dressed and open about his emotions? He might seem perfect, but maybe he is just a moodle, a man-poodle. Here’s a little explanation of the man-poodle from Urban Dictionary: “Women like to walk the moodle, feed the moodle, play with the moodle, but they never do the moodle.” After the jump, find out the 10 signs your new guy might be a moodle!

  1. He’s Mr. Fashion: There is a big difference between a sharp dresser and a man wearing an outfit he clearly bought straight off the mannequin at American Apparel. I appreciate when a man is nicely dressed and well put-together, but when he’s wearing more labels than I am, he might be a moodle.
  2. He doesn’t get laid: Sure, you may not have slipped in between the sheets with him yet, but in today’s world, it surely is not hard to know someone who already has. Realistically, you meet someone and the first thing you do is Facebook him. After checking your mutual friends, you get the dirt. If he’s known to be difficult to get in the sack or you’re now on your 15th date and you still haven’t gone home with him, then sound the moodle alarm.
  3. His wingman is a girl: While we women have wing-women, normally a man has a wingman. If your man shows up to the hot bar you go to on Saturdays with a girlfriend on his arm and not one guy friend in sight, he might be a moodle.
  4. He’s more emotional than you are: If a guy talks about his emotions like you do the week before your period, chances are he is a moodle. A moodle is extremely emotional, talks about his feelings all the time, cries easily, and needs a lot of affection from his female friends when he claims to be upset over a girl he likes.
  5. He carries a murse: It’s simple, ladies, if he’s carrying a man-purse, run.
  6. He’s always down for a shopping spree: Sure, it’s possible to have a male shopping buddy, but when he gets mad at you for not calling him before the annual sale at Bloomingdale’s, he might be a moodle.
  7. Your friends think he’s gay: Moodles are not gay; they are simply men who make better companions than sexual partners. If your man fits the moodle criteria, then try explaining the term to your friends.
  8. He loves to buy women drinks: A moodle is always at the bar with an open tab buying shots for all the hot girls. The more women he has around him, the more guys think he’s a stud. The more attention he gets from everyone, the happier the moodle is.
  9. Being naked around him doesn’t phase him: Either he’s just not that into you, or he’s not into women and he just walks around with you because you look good on his arm. Let’s be honest, part of the reason you take him everywhere is because he’s so damn cute, not because you sleep with him.
  10. You two have absolutely no sexual chemistry: While he may be extremely good-looking with an even better personality, if your guy exhibits all the above behavior and there’s no sexual chemistry between the two of you, he’s a moodle. End of story!