19 Ways To Get Her To Go Down

Ah, the blow job. It’s idealized and beloved by most men, more so than AC/DC, bacon, or even James friggin’ Bond. But much like rainbows or winning the lottery, it’s hard to predict when or if it’ll happen. Perhaps the only thing more elusive is the woman who loves giving them. If your special lady is having a tough time swallowing this intimate act, here are 19 ways to get her to go down on you.

  1. Jewelry. The real stuff equals the right stuff, so make it as genuine as you want her mouth-lovin’ to be.
  2. Thank her — in your Oscar, Emmy, Grammy, or really any ol’ award acceptance speech.
  3. Take her to the opera or the ballet. Well, unless this dude is performing, then she might try to blow him.
  4. Put a ring on it. You get down on your knees, she will too. And a wedding night sex menu is bound to include a BJ as well.
  5. Find a unicorn, then ride up to her on it.
  6. Nurse her back to health.
  7. Charm her parents. Then she’ll charm the pants off of you.
  8. Plan a vacation. Get away and then you can get off.
  9. Take her to pick out something she’d like you to use at the sex toy shop.
  10. Be utterly adorable when you two bump into her ex-boyfriend.
  11. It’s a sad way to get a beej, but if her business is out of commission for more than a week due to a LEEP procedure or some other gyno bummer, on the upside, that also means she’s going in for a BJ!
  12. Get her that thing she’s been pining for but wouldn’t splurge on.
  13. The way to a woman’s heart is through her stomach and then the dishwasher afterward. If you cook or clean up a dinner party, she’ll handle dessert.
  14. Introduce her to Lady Gaga.
  15. Send her so many flowers her coworkers can’t find her in her cubicle. Warning: this has the opposite effect if she has allergies.
  16. Forgive her for whatever heinous mistake she made. Make-up sex comes with a blowie.
  17. Fulfill her deepest sexual fantasy. Then she’ll return the favor.
  18. Let her sister, brother, cousin, college roommate, etc., stay with you for more than three days.
  19. Eat her out first. Duh.