Fergie Admits She’s A Drunk, Broke, Hot Mess On “Oprah”

No, not that Fergie—I’m talking about the the Duchess of York, Sarah Ferguson. Yesterday, she sat down on the Big O’s couch to talk about her recent scandal. You know, the one where she tried to sell access to her ex, Prince Andrew, to an undercover reporter (posing as a business man) for big bucks and unfortunately got caught on film? Oopsie! At first, the ginger Duchess asked the reporter for a $40K down payment to “help a friend.” Then she asked him for another $70K to provide access to Prince Andrew. What Oprah and everyone else in the world wanted to know—why?The Duchess claims she’s in big-time debt and may even declare bankruptcy. Oh, and she was drunk, but she couldn’t remember if she was drinking orange juice or wine. Because orange juice makes ya do such crazy stuff! Oprah made her “face the devil in the face” by watching the sting video of herself for the first time. Then Fergie talked about herself in the third person. She felt sorry for herself. Oof. The conclusion? These are the words and actions of an alcoholic. Needing money to help a friend is addict speak for “need money for drug of choice.” Fergie clearly needs rehab for something — drugs, shopping, whatever. Hey, I heard Dr. Drew is desperately looking for people for the next season of “Celebrity Rehab.” That could work. [NY Daily News]