The Frisky Ladies Confess Their Deepest, Darkest Secrets

You know what girls are good at? Keeping secrets. Just kidding. No, we are not. Women like to share and care, and the ladies who work for The Frisky are no exception. But what are the deep, dark secrets of The Frisky ladies? From not-so-secret sexual assignations to repeat visits to Star Trek Conventions to plastic surgery confessions, we dish all — anonymously, of course — after the jump.

I lost my virginity when I was 20. Embarrassing.

I have been to two Star Trek conventions.

I had plastic surgery when I was 15.

When my little brother was a baby, I would hold him, pretend to be nice, and squeeze his fingers, so I could be all, like, ‘He’s soooo annoying, Mom,’ when he started crying.

I wrote song lyrics for Hanson when I was 13. I looked up their record company’s address on the back of their first CD, Middle Of Nowhere, and mailed it to some producer who they thanked in their credits. I never received a response back, but at least they didn’t steal my lyrics. God, I didn’t know anything about copyright back then.

When I was 5, I was in my mom’s bedroom one day and found her diaphragm. I put it on my head and came out and asked her where she’d gotten ‘the little Jewish hat.’

In college, a few years before they even met, I gave my best friend’s fiance a blowie in a bar bathroom one night when we were drunk. When they first got together, I didn’t say anything about it cause it just seemed weird. Then they progressively got more serious, and now I feel like I can never disclose that we hooked up without causing major problems. Me and him have NEVER mentioned it again, and I think there is a 0% chance that he would ever tell her.

My biggest secret is when I was in 2nd grade, I wrote this poem that my mom thought was THE MOST GENIUS THING OF ALL TIME and kept it and literally STILL tells everyone about it. ‘This is my daughter. You know, when she was 7 she wrote this poem.’ I plagiarized it from a poet whose name rhymes with Femily Bickinson.

In high school, at the yearbook dinner, I hit my principal’s car and drove away. I was the editor of the yearbook and was leaving early because I was sick.

Once, I was at a punk rock show at this club and ran into this guy who’d become my pen pal. Turns out he was super hot, and we just started making out on the spot. He pulled me behind this closed bar, and I gave him a BJ for some reason. Turns out, people noticed, and he knew they noticed but didn’t warn me. We got kicked out of the club by two security guards and a manager who told us to never come back. My friends kept asking me where I went all night and I told them I bailed but never told anyone what really happened.

What’s your secret?