• Relationships

What’s Your Dealbreaker?

I’ve written about a few dating dealbreakers I’ve encountered — the virgin; bad sex; the dumb guy — and my friends and Frisky commenters are always quick to jump in with their own list of turnoffs that will make a guy undateable.

We hate their below-the-belt grooming (or lack thereof), their obsession with sports, their awful sense of style. But wait. Sometimes we put our razors on strike and spend marathon afternoons on the couch watching “Say Yes to the Dress.” And a guy who nitpicks our fashion choices? He’s out of there faster than he can figure out how to pronounce “Christian Louboutin.”

Let’s cut the boys some slack. Maybe it’s time to take a theatrically long look in the mirror and ask ourselves, “Would I date me?” We asked our girlfriends for their “I wouldn’t date me” dealbreakers: the habits and quirks that we’re guilty of … but have ditched men over. It turns out we’re hypocrites about a few things.Jealousy:

“I get really jealous. If I know a girl used to find my boyfriend attractive, I track every interaction they have together. And sometimes, I’m not that sneaky and we fight about it because he thinks I don’t trust him. If he were to give me the same third degree, I wouldn’t stand for it.” — Alina

Our mood swings:

“I get pissed really easily and if I were dating me I’d be like, ‘Bitch, get over it.’” — Vicky

Friends of the opposite sex:

“I have a lot of guy friends, and I hang out with a lot of them. I’d get jealous if the guy I was dating had a lot of platonic girlfriend that he saw all the time.” — Liz

Our bad habits:

“I’ve always had a hard time with pot smokers. I just think weed is immature, smells terrible, and makes you lazy. I can’t understand the point of it all. I’d never want to date a stoner, because I don’t like getting high myself and I certainly don’t want to be the only sober half of a relationship. I feel the same way about drinking, I don’t drink much and have no interest in dating anyone who thinks it’s still awesome to go out every weekend and get, like, totally smashed, dude! However, it totally pisses me off when guys I date request that I not smoke my precious Camel Crush’s around them. These babies were here for me before you and they’ll still be here when you’re long gone.” — Loren

Our personal space:

“I don’t like guys sleeping at my place. I have literally given them cab fare before. If a dude kicked out one my girlfriends after sex, of course I’d be like, “What a dick!” I am a hypocrite who sleeps diagonally.” — Julieanne

Online etiquette:

“The second a guy uses an emoticon in a text message or IM, I lose all interest. Still, even though I hate myself for it, I occasionally end a message with a stupid face, and I don’t even do it ironically. :-/ “ — Grace

Making introductions:

“I’ve been too embarrassed to introduce a guy I was dating to my friends or family because I tend to go for dorks who are socially awkward. But I’d definitely been offended if I felt like a guy was purposefully delaying introducing me to his circle.” — Mona

Body hang-ups:

“I have a lot of insecurities about my body, and I kind of expect the guy I’m with to be understanding if I want the lights off or if I keep lingerie or a T-shirt on during sex. But when I was with a guy who was embarrassed about his beer belly and wouldn’t let my hands near it, his insecurity was a really big turnoff.” — Sarah

Body hair:

“Too much body hair. I can get kind of lazy when it comes to shaving down there. But if a guy’s practically got a forest growing in his pants, it’s definitely a turn-off.” — Sandra

Getting close:

“I like to cuddle when I’m comfortable with a guy, but that comfort is the problem. Unless a guy has balls of brass, it’s hard to get past my cold stance, awkward conversation and inability to talk about my feelings. The guys who persist, get the gold in the end, but it’s getting past that uncomfortable stage for me that makes me undateable! I’d definitely be annoyed by me!” — Amanda

Photo: iStockphoto

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