The Food Network’s Calorie Commando Recruited Homeless Dudes To Murder His Wife

Former Food Network chef Juan-Carlos Cruz got himself into a recipe for disaster earlier this month. Most well-known as the host of “Calorie Commando,” the 48-year-old allegedly tried to cut the fat from his life by recruiting some homeless dudes to eliminate his wife. Eek. Three homeless men known as Big Dave, Little Dave, and Shane spilled the beans about the murder plot to authorities after being arrested for loitering. They were just happy to be offered free pizza and a place to sleep during the undercover investigation.
According to TMZ, Cruz offered the homeless men—whom I’d prefer to refer to as Larry, Mo, and Curly—ten $100 bills ripped in half. He promised they would get half of each bill when they agreed to the plot and the other halves after they killed Cruz’s wife. What? Just because they are homeless doesn’t mean they don’t know that ripped Benjamins are worthless. Weirder yet, this crazy plot was conceived of and communicated via a series of text messages sent to a cell phone that Cruz gave the homeless stooges.

Cruz was arrested on Thursday while at the dog park near his Los Angeles home. He is being held on $5 million bail. The worst? A new book he co-wrote, which was set to be released in June, is named The Love Diet: Eat It Up, Take It Off, Get It On. Perhaps they will rename it The Love Diet: Rip It Up, Take Her Out, Get Her Offed? I wonder why he didn’t just try to poison her with a low-fat smoothie?