Ask The Astrosexologist: Am I This Sag Guy’s Girlfriend Or Not?
I’m a Gemini who has been in a rocky relationship with a Sagittarius for almost three years. We dated exclusively for six months and then were “dating” for about a year. We broke off our exclusivity after he decided we were done and took off. I didn’t hear from him for months. I started dating a mutual friend of ours. When that rebound relationship ended, since me and my Sagittarius were in the same group of friends, we started hooking up and hanging out again. We have never reinstated our exclusivity, but yet he cannot let the fact that I have been with other people go. We seem to argue about who I’ve been with all the time, and although obviously it bothers him, he still comes around and we usually spend our weekends together.
We’ve had a few heart-to-hearts over the last few months and he has a lot of self-esteem issues. (He is about eight years older than me, and I’m “financially” and “professionally” superior to him, but that stuff doesn’t matter to me, but to him, I think it does.) He has told me that he does love me. He believes he is a failure and ultimately will end up alone, but I don’t believe that because I love and care for him. According to his friends, I am the first girl he has referred to as his girlfriend, and I am the only girl he has continuously seen for more than two weeks. At times, when we go out he refers to me as his girlfriend, yet getting a call or text from him everyday is rare. He complains that I don’t call or text him enough, but when I do text I get one-word answers or no response and my calls are rarely answered. What’s his deal? Can it ever be resolved between us, or [is it a] lost cause? – Still In Love
As a Gemini you love to solve puzzles and when this translates to someone you love, you can’t help yourself from trying to sort out their messes to help them become “complete.” However, when it comes to situations like yours, there is no way you can ever finish that puzzle because the pieces you need aren’t available to you and may never be.
Mr. Sag has quite a way of turning on the “woe is me” waterworks, but he is so self-absorbed in it that he doesn’t even consider anyone else’s feelings — which is his fatal flaw. Sagittarius is the ruler of speaker/guru, so they really do know how to captivate with emotions and get people to hear them, follow them, and get sucked up into their drama — but with his sob speeches, pulling at your heart strings, he’s not backing it up with anything that is good for you, other than strings that pull you along.
However, with all that being said, have you ever said flat-out what you want to him? If so, then best to wean yourself off this addiction, because it won’t get you what you want. You will continue to make excuses for him and pick up the slack, by being more responsible financially and professionally. BTW, it is very telling that you put that in a parenthesis, as it was a shameful excuse you had to add.
If you have never laid it on the line, putting this boy on red alert to what he needs to do to truly be with you, then get to it now! Venus is currently touring through Gemini and the planet of sex and passion is in your communication house, so there is no time to waste. Tell him that you care for him, love him and if he is truly on the up-and-up with his feelings for you, then he needs to communicate with you, answer your texts and treat you in a way that you want — as in making you feel needed and wanted, not just an emotional chew toy he can pick up when he wants and then throw at a distance at his whim. Despite his low self-esteem, he won’t get any more confidence by treating you like crap — and it certainly won’t do anything for your self-worth either!
Got a question for our Astrosexologist, Kiki T? Email firstname.lastname@example.org and be sure to include any astrological information about yourself and any other people involved in your query. For a quicker fix on mastering your man, read Kiki’s astral opus, “The Celestial Sexpot’s Handbook.” Plus, now you can follow Kiki T on Twitter for astrological updates, as they happen!