Woman Claims 3D Porno Caused Immaculate Conception

While technology has made some of us smarter, it’s apparently made some of us pregnant-er. A member of America’s military, Erick Jhonson came home from Iraq to find his wife was pregnant. He assumed she cheated on him, but his wife claims that she became pregnant after watching a 3D porno … and the porn star was black, just like their baby. The best part, though, is that he believed her. Jhonson said, “I see it as suspicious. The films in 3D are very real. With today’s technology, anything is possible.”

No, Erick, not everything is possible. Pick up a Seventeen magazine. You cannot get pregnant from bellybutton sex or from watching a 3D movie. Ideally, Jennifer would realize her husband is a total idiot and give up on her story. But she seems convinced, saying, “Even though my husband believed in me, my marriage could be at risk. But he knows I’m faithful.” What if this were the second coming of Christ, and he just happened to be born to the two stupidest people in the country? What if these people pass on their stupid genes to more children?

More likely, this whole story’s made up, but go out in the world knowing that this is what you’re up against: people worrying that everything they see might impregnate them. Be afraid. Very afraid. [Tech Eye]

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