I’m a Gemini (Capricorn rising, Scorpio moon) in a long-distance relationship with a Taurus man (5/2/80). We have incredible chemistry and have been together just over a year, six months of which we lived in the same town before I left to pursue a Masters and PhD . He works in my hometown and has lived in the city where I’m studying before, but had a bad experience with an ex, as well as trouble finding work in his field here. He seems to be carrying around a lot of baggage about that period in his life. He says he wants to be with me, just preferably not in this city. I love him, but I really hate the distance — and though I haven’t cheated, I am starting to find being faithful rather difficult.
We’re polar opposites in many ways — I’m extremely ambitious and goal-oriented at 23, where he still doesn’t know what he wants to do for a living at almost-30; he’s a neat freak, while I’m cluttered; he is pragmatic to a fault about money, where I’m just not; he has a hard time expressing his emotions, but I can’t shut up about mine. For those reasons, we balance each other nicely for the most part, but at times, we struggle to see eye-to-eye.
Obviously, I’d like him to join me here, as I’ll be in this city at least until I finish my Masters and possibly all the way through my doctorate. However, he’s resisting, and I’m not sure whether it makes more sense for us to part ways or for me to stick around and try to tolerate the distance until he’s ready to move. We’re six years apart in age, and I struggle with the concept of consigning myself to a relationship with someone who doesn’t want to live with, or even near, me. At the same time, I love him dearly and don’t want him to move if he genuinely believes it will make him miserable — nor do I want to give up on what has been one of the most fulfilling relationships I’ve ever had.
Can a grounded, stubborn Taurus with few professional goals make it work with a high-strung, ambitious Gemini? Is it worth waiting for or should I break it off with him? — A Confused Gemini
All the answers you need to hear are right in your own email. All the things you loved about this relationship began in sentences that started with an “I.” You love him; you find this to be the best relationship you have been in. You want him to move, etc. Where is he in this equation, other than being the one who poo-poos all your ideas on where you want this relationship to go? Where are his ideas?
Sorry to say, his view seems to be pretty cut and dry — he wants to stay where he is, not going out of his comfort zone for anybody. Although six months isn’t enough time for most to want to pick up and move, the fact that such varying directions in your life are already an issue — and you’re the only one coming up with solutions — is a glaring red flag. As it stands, a Taurus guy isn’t one to change too quickly and if you can’t inspire him early on, and the longer it goes on, the more stubborn he will become.
The one glimmer of hope is that he does have a Sagittarius moon and Venus in Gemini, so he isn’t completely rigid when it comes to adventure. However, he needs something to really capture his imagination and motivate him immediately if he is going to move into action. Since his Mercury is in Taurus, the longer the opportunity is on his plate without biting, the more of a chance he will never want to taste it. With that said, yes, chances are high this relationship is what it is and what it will be. So for you, it’s about keeping your ambition and striving for what you want, instead of trying to work around someone so settled. Doing so will inevitably slow you down if you stick around, but as a Gemini, you are all about keeping your brain aroused and chances are slim you will be weighed down by this.
Besides, Saturn, the planet of karma, is touring your romance house, so do realize this dalliance with the Taurus is no mistake, but an experience that will teach you major lessons in what you ultimately want and should expect from someone else you do fall in love with. With your Capricorn rising, that should probably happen some time in June 2010 or January 2011, as eclipses are coming for you and will shake up your love life with surprises for the better!
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