Why Do Women Abandon Their Friends For Their New Lover?

I’m not one of those people who demands a lot of time from friends, because vegging out on the couch watching reality TV is one of my favorite pastimes. Not only that, but I’m my mom’s only child, so I learned to entertain myself from a very early age. But lately, I’ve considered calling out my friend for a behavior that plagues a great amount of women.

As women, I think we love so hard, so fast that we want to spend a great deal of our free time with our new lover. I know I’m guilty of this, too. We just want to be in that person’s presence every minute because that’s better than thinking about him or her when we’re alone. I get it. I understand. But I’m not one of those women who feel my previous friendships should take second priority to my new guy. Too bad my homegirl, who I’ve known since she was born, doesn’t feel the same way.A few weeks ago, she and I had plans for brunch. I’d been looking forward to the outing all week because I had girl talk that was best said in person. The morning we were supposed to meet, she told me brunch was canceled and didn’t give any explanation. I prodded her to find out why, even though I had a hunch. And she said she was stuck at her girlfriend’s house.

I was upset for two reasons. One, I felt she was choosing her girl over me. Two, her girlfriend came to brunch with us before, so it would have been no big deal if she came again. She also hung out with us another time because my friend invited her, and it didn’t bother me. The girlfriend had even provided insight into the situation I planned to discuss on that occasion.

My friend ended up meeting me alone, and I found out that she was dissing me so her girl could take her to Red Lobster. Seriously, she was trying to cancel on me so she could go to a stinky seafood fast food joint.

I haven’t seen her since the day of our brunch. I’ve been busy with work and she’s been busy under her girlfriend. So I asked her to accompany me to a free yoga class I’m starting. I thought it’d be a good way for her to get back into yoga and who can pass up a freebie? But I got the girlfriend excuse again. So I’m going to pull back for now and let my friend be. I know she can be fickle when it comes to affairs of the heart, but I’m also secretly hoping this could be a relationship that blossoms into love. Even though she’s annoyed me the last month and a half, I know she deserves to be happy.

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