If We Were Louis Bardo Bullock’s Stylists…

We find Sandra Bullock’s adopted son Louis as adorable as the rest of you, but why, why was the kid wearing that ridiculous beaded necklace on the cover of People? He’s not white, we get that, so does he really need a set of tribal-looking beads to drive home the point? Couldn’t they have thrown a cutesy baby outfit on him and called it a day? No one technically asked for the advice and we’re not applying for the job or anything, but … if we were Louis’ stylists, here’s how we’d advise him to dress.

  • It’s OK to wear a shirt. You don’t have to prove yourself to us. Louis, you are not The Situation. You have your whole life ahead of you, and it doesn’t have to involve incessantly flashing your abs all the time.
  • You’ve got awesome skin, kid, play it up with bright colors.
  • We like the badass expression you were rocking on the cover of People. Consider incorporating a leather jacket into your fall look to go with that sneer.
  • Your mom’s got money and will probably want to spoil. Get her to take a trip to Bonpoint, mecca of overpriced, incredibly fancy baby clothes.
  • You look like you’re on your way to being tall, dark, and handsome, a look that goes well with classic styles. Keep that in mind for the future.
  • Seriously, no more silly beaded necklaces, you’re too cool for that.