Have You Ever Been On The Sex Diet?

I can’t tell you how many diets I’ve been on in my life. The grapefruit diet, the cookie diet, the no-sugar diet, the no-carbs diet, the Atkins diet, the raw diet, the juice diet, Weight Watchers, Nutrisystem, and too many more to list. While I’ve never been terrifically skinny or incredibly overweight, I’ve definitely vacillated in the 20-pounds zone. Sometimes, I’m up. Sometimes, I’m down. Mostly, I go in phases. For years, I’m very good. Other times, I am very bad. In the long run, it does seem like diets don’t really work. You lose it, but it tracks you down and finds you again. I have found one pretty fail-safe method over the years, though. And that’s the sex diet. The sex diet can be executed only under very specific circumstances. You can’t buy it in a store. You can’t do it if you’re coupled up. And you can’t do it if you live in a nunnery. The sex diet requires you be single, you’ve met someone, and you’re starting to get the impression that at some point in the not-too-distant future, you’re going to be having sex with this person. The bottom line: The sex diet is fueled by the unmitigated anxiety of getting naked in front of another person for the first time.

On dates, you can hide extra pounds with belts, certain tops, and a mean pencil skirt. It’s when you’re getting near the naked zone when things can get tricky. Obviously, one should love oneself as one is — but you know what? That’s not always easy. I don’t know a woman who doesn’t worry about her body, and when you’re having first-time sex, you’re not just worrying about your body, you’re worrying about what the other person thinks of your body, too.

On the sex diet, reason goes out the window. All of a sudden, you’re eating right, you’re exercising regularly, and you’re doing every thing you can to get that metabolism moving, dammit, before you do the deed. Sex is a pretty strong motivator, I’ve found. The sex diet? It works. Every time.

Have you ever tried it?