Yesterday, a new round of Lohan-related havoc broke loose when the tabloids’ go-to guy, Michael Lohan, escorted officers of the Los Angeles Sheriff’s Department to Lindsay‘s home. Michael claims that he called the authorities because he was concerned about the safety of Lindsay’s little sister, Ali, who has been living with her sister. As with some of the other occurrences of Lohan family drama, things quickly escalated into rapid fire exchanges of tweets, lies and accusations, leaving most of us confused about what really happened. After a tireless night of TMZ scouring and scientific equations, we think we have created a pretty accurate timeline of Lindsay waking up to police at her door. Read on if you
- Sunday night: Lindsay and Ali drop by the Coachella Music Festival with a few friends to enjoy an evening of bands and being photographed. Lindsay wears a white belly-bearing top, which doesn’t have anything to do with this story but is apparently really interesting, according to the tabloids.
- Later that evening: Ali and Lindsay drive home in Lindsay’s car, which is driven by a friend. By a surprising “coincidence,” Michael has a friend at Coachella who happens to leave at the same time and ends up driving behind Lindsay. Imagine that! This friend/spy calls Michael and claims that the car is going over 115mph. Michael is outraged and flies to L.A. the next day to check up on Ali. This still doesn’t explain how Michael’s friend was able to determine such an exact speed, but we will ignore the holes in the story.
- Monday through Wednesday: Michael and his new fiancee, Kate Major, come to L.A. and plot Michael’s next well-publicized intervention involving Lindsay. He spends time visiting police and lawyers, trying to figure out what his rights are in trying to see Ali, whom he does not have legal custody of.
- Thursday Early Morning: Michael talks to a sergeant in charge of narcotics at the Sheriff’s office about the situation and how he doesn’t feel comfortable about Ali living with Lindsay given her lifestyle. Michael claims most the officers were concerned about the situation and believed that Michael had the right to check in on his daughter’s welfare. I have a hard time believing that the authorities are this supportive because they seem to be bombarded with one Lohan-related problem after another—you think it might become a boy-who-cries-wolf thing after a while. Or that maybe they would have a picture of Michael with a warning up in the office.
- Around 11 a.m.: Michael and several officers leave for Lindsay’s home and happen across photographers and video cameras along the way, allowing the approach to Lindsay’s home to be well-documented.
- 11:40 a.m.: Michael and the police reach Lindsay’s apartment building and are allowed up to her room. Ali opens the door and is obviously alarmed by her less-than-stellar dad surrounded by cops. Michael asks Ali if she is OK. She responds that she is and Michael takes this minimal verbal communication as suitable to the state of Ali’s well-being, making this whole police involvement look a little ridiculous. Michael decides that he may as well go for a double play and goes to speak with Lindsay. Lindsay becomes enraged by the fact that her father was able to get into her apartment and begins yelling at him.
- Noon: Michael and the police leave the apartment building.
- Noon to Present: Both Lindsay and Michael take to Twitter to tell their sides of the stories. Lindsay claims that the visit was completely unwarranted and that the stories of her speeding were a lie. As with most events involving her father, Lindsay took the opportunity for some name-calling and a large surge of capital letters.
“let’s not forget, that my father KIDNAPPED me from a COURT ROOM when i was 4 years old and is CRAZY. he has NEVER paid child support, and is marrying a tabloid writer and can barely spell his own name due to his “brain” that has been ruined due to HIS drug use.”
- 2:07 p.m.: Micheal didn’t limit himself to 140-character rants. He went on TMZ to explain himself. In an almost 30-minute interview, Michael tries to describe why his lack of parental of custody does not legally stand in the way of his ability to storm in on his daughters with police. He also spoke about Lindsay’s past and his worries that Ali may travel down the same road if she is left with only her sister as her guardian. He also spoke about how Coachella is not safe for a 16-year-old and how Lindsay has no furniture as reasons why Ali should not be allowed to live with Lindsay. Lindsay took to Twitter again to respond:
“oh and as for the rediculous tmz bs ‘concerned’ father interview, i must correct michael lohan when i say that Aliana IS watched with a with and by a guardian AT ALL TIMES…. who is very close to my family and is a POSITIVE influence in my life. Yet again, another cry for attention on his part&a public display of ‘reaching out’ when we have stated that he is NOT a part of our lives, nor has he been for a while. hahaha also, just an fyi, i sleep in a bed, it’s a comfortpedic & it’s fantastical!! so that is ah-really ah-rude to say i have no furniturethe only one in need of police protection here is ME AND ALI from our pathological, lying ex-father!”
After this not-so-composed and grammatically interesting retaliation, Michael Tweeted simply:
“@ lindsaylohan U could’ve prevented this and u can end this all it takes is for u to sit down w/ me and talk about any problems that exist:
- 9:55 p.m.: Michael gives another exclusive interview to Radar Online, explaining that all he wants is Ali out of the situation and Lindsay on the fast track to getting help. Michael must have had a bad music festival experience because once again he cited Ali’s attendance at Coachella as a reason it is unsafe for her to live with Lindsay. Leave the music alone, man.
Now you are informed on the major events. So now that you know the latest chapter in this well-worn saga of the Lohan family, what do you think? If you think about it all.