Trailer Park: “The Back-up Plan,” “The Losers,” “Oceans”

Every year, I miss Earth Day. I mean, I do my part to only bring re-usable bags to the grocery store and have a water canteen thingy, but I feel like I should be picking up trash at the beach or composting or something. But if you’re like me and didn’t do anything, you get an extra chance this weekend because if you go see Disney Nature’s “Oceans,” they’ll donate money to save the world’s coral reefs. I don’t know if “The Back-up Plan” is saving babies or donating sperm or anything, but if you hate the earth and love romantic comedies, you might as well see that. And if you hate babies and the earth, but love blowing stuff up, then there’s always “The Losers.” Happy weekend, you guys!

The Movie: “The Back-up Plan”
The Trailer: Zoe (Jennifer Lopez) is a New York pet shop owner who gives up on finding a man and goes the artificial insemination route. While leaving the clinic, she runs into Stan (Alex O’Loughlin) who’s a goat cheese farmer upstate. But, oh crap, she’s pregnant. With twins. Does she really want to raise these babies alone, or can she let this man into her life? Is he willing to skip a few steps for love? The suspense, the intrigue, the morning sickness.
The Hitch: I feel like this movie is like “Baby Mama” without the plot twists or surrogate. But with a more adorable love interest. And the guy has a goat cheese farm, which just so happens to be my secret fantasy career. This is not promising to be anything more than a sweet romantic comedy, and surely that’s what it will deliver.

The Movie: “The Losers”
The Trailer: Adapted loosely from the DC-Vertigo comic book about black-ops agents who get set up to be killed by their own government in South America. Five of them survive and set out to get their revenge. The team leader Clay (Jeffrey Dean Morgan) is the classic tough guy, Jensen (Chris Evans) is a bit of a nerd, and Aisha (Zoë Saldana) comes in to kick some butt as Clay’s love interest. Max (Jason Patric) is the super villain who’s trying to unload a terrorist weapon that can make a generously-sized land-mass implode.
The Hitch: This movie looks pretty awful, except for the fact that Jeffrey Dean Morgan is extremely sexy. You might remember him as The Comedian from “Watchmen.” But is it worth sitting through an entire film just for the scenes where he’s making out with Zoë Saldana? That’s up to you, my friend. Or if you have an adventure-loving other half, it might be up to them.

The Movie: “Oceans”
The Trailer: Last year, Disney put out “Earth” and this year it’s on to the oceans, using a new generation of digital cameras that get closer and farther down than ever. Narrated melodramatically by Pierce Brosnan, “Oceans” will explore creatures from each of the earth’s five oceans close up, glistening, and made of magic.
The Hitch: Personally, I could watch the British “Planet Earth” series a dozen times and still go through every range of emotions and clap with delight. Deep sea creatures, however, scare the crap out of me. But kind of how roller coasters scare the crap out of me (again, again). And since Disney’s behind the project, you know it’s going to be huge. If there’s an IMAX near you, go that route.